Today I went to Cambodia.
My alarm sounded at 438 am. I don’t like setting it right on the thirty or the double zeros.
I went to the washroom and put soap on my hands, turned the tap and was not rinsed. I pressed the flusher down. Nothing.
It is okay.
I wipe my hands on the towel.
I am out of the house at 526am after a quick bowl of Rice Krispies and a glass of chocolate milk.
I leave the pee and the toilet paper, all mixed together, but I close the lid. I leave my teeth unbrushed and grab a mento instead.
I walk through my village to the entrance. Some people are already up- I can see their shapes sliding around sleepily.
and i don’t go down the soi that has the scary, pant-biting, leaping out-behind-cars dog.
I waited ten minutes for a white van to pull up. ‘ Yes it is my phone number you are holding,’ I confirm.
I am the first passenger in the van but we pick up 8 more a long the way.
The ride is dutifully uneventful.
Once at the border we stand in lines while the Cambodian children come asking for money. Due to previous trips, I recognize the one with no teeth. He’s old enough to have teeth, why doesn’t he have teeth. I am holding an empty milk carton and when the boy comes to me I shake my head, then suddenly decide to offer him the carton. expecting him to shake his head back. Without hesitation he grabs it and runs. I am surprised and sad, and stand in the corner against a wall, wondering if they’ll be doing this the rest of their lives, wondering if this is their side job, and thinking that, trying to convince myself that-they have family to care for them.
The four hour ride home is also uneventful. Even though I am the last to get dropped off, it is only 332 in the afternoon when I unlock the first of three locks upon entry into my home. I forget that the water wasn’t working that morning and so it startles me when nothing but air jolts out, chugging its way to full pressure.I smile once the water streams out.
I am two more months legal in Thailand.
i even shut the door and turned the air on for this one.
i even made myself some coffee.
i thought i got a wordpress address for a reason.
a space to type and type and type
maybe some eyes will glimpse.
I’ve only had it for a few days
but I thought I would have inserted more than two posts.
i thought my reason was solid and grounded.
was controlled and paving the way of productivity for me.
there is a whole other planet to step on to.
Since the first day i got this thing, I have been sweeping around from one site to the next, reading peoples words and slowly understanding that even though my reasoning agrees with me, it is not the only thing I need to keep this blog.
It is You.
You who writes of blooming love, who writes of first kisses and the magical way they make us feel,
you who writes of healthy ways and die-hard habits…you who writes of bliss and safe control.
you who writes of depression and how Christians feel this way sometimes; and how we should transform instead of conform..
Connections zilch in and out, weave and dart and playgrounds set themselves up in my mind. shiny with colour…gleaming in such light! in such style!
initally i have become consumed by these spaces i have entered.
thank you for raising my eyebrows and making me feel good and connected and happy.
thank you for the slides i will slide down and the swings i will swing on.
here, even the grass tastes good.
well its still me, in a phased confusion of how all this works. thats okay i tell myself. because most things new, are confusing at first and they do take time to learn-how to work them to their fullest potential.
im still using only half of my iphone, but ive came along ways, and im sure when i have children, i’ll be more motivated to learn of all the new fangled things entering the world.
anything to keep connected with them.
It is 2012 now and I decided to start a blog. Some days I’ll type with more of a focused intent and other days I’m sure rambles will line the shelves. We all begin this year. lets keep our life spicy and our innards young by beginning it with a newness.