I’m awake before all the others in the house.
But outside I hear the birds and the cars exiting the village.
Even with all the blinds still closed, I know there is a world bustling out there.
I know that people change as time does its thing. I know that people can grow apart because of it. It’s one of those things that I didn’t ever think would happen to my own best friends and myself.
But who was I kidding. An entire year away from them coupled with drastic changes in all our lifes…there’s bound to be some new gum to chew in the package.
I live abroad, away from a fast-paced ride I grew up smiling on. Over the years I’ve adapted to this slow, un-hurryable lifestyle and I’m okay with that because the speedy ride in Canada is something I know I can get back on.
And because I enjoy this snail spin.
Both of my best friends have changed differently. Except for the part where it’s the same. They’ve always had a backbone. An opinion. But now they vocalize it like its the only thing worth selling in the world. They’ve got speech and conversation down pat like I used to. They’ve got bigger words that I haven’t used in years, and I feel alittle overwhelmed and lost.
I don’t have friends here that speak proper English. I have my boyfriend and that is whom I go to with it all. But I’ve turned into more of a listener, because thats partly how him and I work. So when my friends come over-seperatly mind you, and visit me in my house here, I feel the difference.
I am being spoken at, not to. My thoughts and feelings are belittled because of the easy confidence they sway in. I’ve been aware of which happenings I put my energy towards and so far this dishevelled gum tastes like surprise and confusion.
For now, I leave my two best friends and I with a quieter woman because I have yet to swallow.