Cookies In The Middle

Last night I had wine down by the river. In a silver thermos.
My friend and I walked the length of a ship that was docked across from a restaurant and we pretended there were doors on the side of the rig. We felt the ropes that tied the boat down. They were the size of my arms.
I stepped in a huge puddle and laughed with the geese. We stood on the playground boat and talked about where the boat would take us. It’s the same boat we stood on over a year ago on the last day I was in town.
I wore all green.
Half a bottle of wine and I was in for a good giggle. We walked to Tim Hortons to meet two other friends. My cheeks were rosy and the lighting in the place made my eyes feel funny.
I think the real purpose of this post is to talk about the three cookies that I ordered. I ordered two at first and set them down in the middle of the table for us all to snack on. I think I got about 4 bites pulled off in total. I gave my friend a toonie to get another one. Because I wanted more than four bites of two cookies. He came back with it and I set it in the middle again. If I wanted to eat it so bad I’m not sure why I did that. I pulled a piece off and we began chatting. Not even one minute later I went to have more of the cookie. There was one piece left. If anyone was looking at my face they would have noticed how surprised I was. I didn’t care much then. I really didn’t.
I thought of my three friends and how low it was to snag so much cookie from me. It’s simple and childish and I shoudn’t have put it in the middle. But I just figured it would be more shared. Like friends do, right?
I expected my friends to let the one that bought the cookie, eat at least half of it.
Anyhow,
I solved all this irritation today by going to Tim Hortons and buying two chocolate chip cookies.I ate them both slowly, and came to the conclusion that I was no longer going to put cookies in the middle of the table.

Names that Don’t Wear Flipflops

If someone was talking about you and your best friend to someone else, whose name would come first? Would it be Jack and Lisa? or Lisa and Jack?

When you hear your mom talking to Aunt Liz on the phone about how you and your boyfriend are going to Cuba next week, whose name comes first? Yours or his?

You see, there’s a pattern.

Often times it starts where most things…do.

The beginning.
Bert and Ernie were always Bert and Ernie, right? How often do you hear Ernie and Bert?

Take Will and Grace or Mary-Kate and Ashley. It’s rarely said the other way around.

And Calvin and Hobbes?
What about Chip and Dale or Bonnie and Clyde?

Why do you think this is?
What is the significance of these un-flip-floppy names?
Any ideas?

Don’t Forget Your Partner

It’s a rare morning I wake up to. With baby sleeping, time awake, and my brain right in that location of goodness for writing. Marvelous spot.
Even though I begin this post without much knowledge as to what it will be filled with, I know that I want to write and that I want to post.

I am here in Canada with my boyfriend and I have realized that I have neglected him over the weeks that we have been here. My family has undergone some major changes and upheavel, we’ve went out and I’ve introduced him to my family and friends..all with a new baby in our arms.

It’s very different. In Thailand its just him and I. And Zeek. We don’t have many friends there, so we are throwing time in for each other, watching it whirl its cycle and loving it. Loving the focus. The focus that is deprived here.

I am here for a limited time.
But that doesn’t justify my neglect with my partner.
I see my parents in me. Walking around each other under the same roof. But not ever any real passion or questions on how the day was or what they did.
I see them in me and it scares myself to bits.

My boyfriend is quite the opposite and talks everything over and asks me how I am when we’re out and makes sure I am comfortable and happy. Since here I realized that I could be the cause of that dwindle. If I don’t give back, if I make him feel very distant from me, why would he want to continue asking after me?
I understand there is a selfless state that comes with any relationship and love. But in this situation I see that I have not been fair and have almost pushed him aside even though he is one of the most important people in my life.

No matter the limited time, no matter how busy or how tired, it is so very very important to make the effort and connect with your loved one.
Do it consciously for a certain length of time and before you know it, you’ll be doing it without thought.

Moody Discovery

The past three weeks have been the longest I have went without documenting anything. I have had the fewest photos, the least writings, and such little documentation on Zeeks habits that it has pressurized into this cannon of disgust towards me. Made by me.
I have drank less water and spoke less to my family. My absorption seeps into my child and anything that has to do with him. I need to learn how to balence this. And when I do figure it out, I’ll probably be heading back to Thailand where no friends or family are and what good is learning this if I will not be able to put it into practise.
My mind falters towards home back in Pattaya and how being unable to clean and tidy the house irritates me . I have to sit in it for hours, impatient and eager to just get it done. But I must wait.
It comes to me here because I see the mess about this house. I see the piles of clothes we’ve made and the lack of time we have in sitting down and actually cleaning things up. And it gets to me.
Before having a child I really didnt think this was such an issue. I always had untidy rooms and I was never bothered by it. This discovery is one of the many I have found after having a child.

Moody Mommy Days.