Marriage and Here

I think about how living here affects my marriage.
We don’t ever go out on double dates or go out just us two. We have only met and bonded with one couple over coffee when Zeek was first born. And that was because she was pregnant and wanted some info regarding our labour and delivery.

When we get into arguments, I don’t phone up a friend. I don’t go walking down the streets. Because I can’t. I have no friends and it’s a bigger deal then just to get up and go with a 6 month old.
So our arguments rarely happen. When they do, we may be quiet for a little while but we are forced to revert back to one another. We live under the same roof and he doesn’t have friends either. We just haven’t bothered to make any.
I’m a pretty social person so you wonder how I can do it.
I guess this country does a lot for me in the way that I reflect and do personal things that I otherwise wouldn’t be finding the time for.
I’ve made scrapbooks and albums and videos over the past few years.

I think a lot on when we move to Canada. Because within two years, we will.
I think about how I will change. How certain aspects of me will be highlighted. Stuff that maybe he hasn’t seen before. Like, ordering my own food. And being talkative and interacting and being dependent.
I wonder what it will do to our marriage.
I wonder about good things and bad things.

I think when we argue there, we will be able to put more space between us and that may resort to the issue taking longer to resolve. It will be a challenge.
It will be like a new relationship all over again. I am excited for it.

So I live it up here. I focus on the good this place does for us and how close we are because of it. I think we have been here for a reason and I think we have been building on that without realizing it.
I can stand tall and be proud of us because we are doing well for being so far away from all that we know…from any help I would be getting, from time away from Baby, from time with friends..

What a Marriage I am in !
I love it!

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