The Goodbyes Begin

The goodbyes begin.
My heart got heavier the closer I got to home and we pulled over twice on the way, to hold one another. The sun was rising and there was a big puddle of cloud that was being painted pink.
I am so tired and I am so drained and today I must do my sons first birthday party.
I am hiding in the living room while showers go on and footsteps happen and I don’t feel like talking to anyone today. My eyes sting and my hair is ugly and I don’t want to see anyone today.
He’s been my best friend for four years and we’ve hung out everyday for the past week. We do it to ourselves. Setting up attatchment camps and roasting care like we don’t want to think about what it will be like when we’re apart.
We created memories that I will always have rathered to do then not and when he pulled out of the driveway my heart sunk a hundred notches and I could barely make it up the porch steps.

This is what love does sometimes and it is good to think of it as a good thing. It is worthy of all my tears and heartache, my snotty nose and red eyes.. whatever it is, it can produce these feelings and that is a powerful thing.

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