Making Happy

We are built with both positive and negative feelings. Even though the negative ones are ones we tend to dislike, they are still good to have.
How else do you think we improve or progress?
In relationships,in parenting, or in the workfield?

We are built with the desire to be better.

Feelings can launch you into a spin of happy or of sad. Of self reflection, of doubt, or of denial.

We always want to be happy with our significant other but we may not always try.
Happy can only be tried for to a certain extent. Then the amount we are trying, cancels the amount of happy.
If we are conscious of our level of happiness, if we know how we can be happier, the tools in which to get there, become easier to get.
They become easier to get because we become able to produce them.

It doesn’t mean we can stock our shelves with the stuff, but it does mean we’re bound to be a more positive person that generates a way for people to find THEIR tools.

Positive people beget positive people.
And how great would a city, a state, a province, a WORLD be..
if everyone was more positive?

Bond Between Parent and Child

Lately I’ve been pretty emotional when it comes to my 20 month old and I.
Watching him intently, tears move in with all there bags and furniture.

And they set up home nicely in my heart.

The bond between parent and child is not something that is frequently brought to attention. People don’t come up and say ‘ Hey, I noticed the connection you have with your child; it is wonderful to see!’ People are more likely to say things like, ‘ Has she started solids yet?”, ” When did he start walking? “, and ” What brand of diapers do you use?”.

Perhaps we don’t address the bond because we expect it to be there.Maybe it is because it is not as obvious to the eye. That to make the comment and for it to be genuine, means digging a bit deeper.

I wonder if we consciously looked for that,what would happen.
If,when out at a playground or play group, we looked for details of a great connection between parent and child.

And I wonder if we spoke up, and if we told them that we had seen it,what it would do.
I don’t think the foundation of respect matters much in this case. That even if there was no previous encounter for a level of respect to be established, the compliment would still stand.

And eventually sit.
In a parents heart.

Parents can know and feel the love for their child. They don’t need people to point it out for them. But we like compliments. We all do. And they stick with us for months, even years later.
I put on a pair of shoes or a shirt,knowing someone said they had liked them, months ago.
Your Aunt Beth likes that dish of potatoes and cream cheese you make every Christmas. You remember that as you’re sprinkling the spices in.

We don’t need compliments or recognition to be good parents.
But it helps to know that we’re not the only ones experiencing it.
That having children, unites us in a way we don’t understand.

I get sad sometimes thinking about how my family doesn’t get to see it. That they don’t get to see my son and I grow together. Sometimes it makes sending pictures or videos difficult. Because I know that that doesn’t capture it.
It doesn’t capture what I am so proud of.

When people talk to us about our connection with anything, it inevitably adds to that current. Talking about an interest of ours can make the passion for it, obvious all over again.
Sometimes the obvious over time, gets lost. Sometimes we forget why we enjoy something. Sometimes all we remember, is just that we do.

We know we love our children.
But sometimes the passion for raising them gets overrided by all the emotional upheavels. The frustrations,the guilt,the stress. The routines,the pressures,the focus.

So in pointing out an appreciation or an admiration for something more in depth then ‘your kid can really count’, the possability in reviving a lost obvious, is born.

Sometimes, that’s the motivation which pushes us to continue being good parents.
And sometimes, that’s the motivation that pushes us to be better.

Telling Parents You See It

Lately I’ve been pretty emotional when it comes to my 20 month old and I. Watching him and tears moving in with all there bags and furniture.
And they set up home nicely in my heart.

I basically live alone here. Noone gets to see me interact with my child.
I am too blame for this.
However, going out in public, displaying the bond between Parent and child, is not something that is really taken into account. People don’t come up and say ‘ hey, i noticed the connection you have with your child, it is wonderful to see!’.
But I wonder if we looked for that.
When out at a playground or play group, we looked for details of a great connection between the two.
And I wonder if we spoke up, and if we told them that we had seen it.
What it would do.

Parents need compliments. They need to know they are doing things right. And emotional comments are going to hit a special place in the heart, furthering the relationship between parent and child.

I’m not saying we need them to be a good parent.
But it does help immensly.

I get sad because none of my family sees it. Not even my own partner. Not because it isn’t there-it most certinaly is-but because they are not around.
They are not around to value, to have appreciation.
I wouldn’t expect them to feel the connect like Zeek and I do.
But that’s the thnig that makes it so special.No one will have it.

So whenever I’m back in Canada and can communicate with people, I hope I remember this.
That to tell parents I see a glimmer of the bond they have with their child, is something I want to do. ( Of course, when I really do sense it.)
Because I know how much good it will do.

Let Go of the Past

I have clothes I attach to time, and even if I don’t wear them often or even at all I keep them until I’m ready to throw them out. Until I’m ready to say goodbye to them. Sometimes it is new clothes that spark the readiness and sometimes I just simply feel the attachment is no longer valued.

I bring this to life and reality and wonder if I do the same with people and relationships I am in.
I wonder if I hold on to them even though I don’t speak to them often or know nothing about their life.
Facebook makes this easy to do.
Had we not had the site, half of the people on our list, we would not remember. It’s a statistic I pull from my opinion.

How are we to make new friends, create new memories, carry out our future,if we are holding jars of emptiness?

Understanding Large Amounts

Rants heave up emotional smarties.
They get piled on top of one another because there is no time for it to be placed in a category or a labeled container. Unlike M&M’s, they melt. They melt not just from the warm words, but also from the warmth of the reactions.
Thus creating this mixed mass of emotions of all different colours.
The process of understanding what you’ve heard, is what separating the colours is.
It is easier to sift through a hardened melted smarties pile, then it is to sift through one that is freshly melted.

It is good to accept the mass as what it is. To feel the life in that, and how it came to be. It is just as important as all the emotions that it is made up of.

A Reason for Cynicsm?

I got a pedicure a few days ago. In a mall.
500 baht was the going price. 15 bucks Canadian.
It wasn’t on the form they had which told of what they had to offer. But me and owner discussed it and agreed on what was to be done for that price.

Looking back now, I am upset with the way I handled it.
I’m frustrated and embarrassed.
I shouldn’t have let it happen.
You would think I would know better since I’ve been here so long.

Once the hour long foot fantabulousizing session was over, I was led to the counter to pay. She proceeds to type in a number in the calculator and shove it towards me without making eye contact.
1200 it reads.
I’m completely taken aback but I act like I’m not and say, “it was 500”.

“no because …”

I don’t even know what her reasoning was. I can’t believe I even thought it made sense at the time?

But it somehow did.
And the lady that had done my nails was standing there all sweet and innocent. She had done a good job.

And I didn’t even look at her the whole time I was in front of the counter.

I had mumbled a few words, as I was reaching for my wallet, thinking that I understood.
I even handed her a tip!!

Once home, it all started clicking into place. How wrong and backwards and messed up that was.
When I first began to get my toes done she came around and had asked if I wanted to do my hands too, and it would be 1000 baht. For both pedi and mani.

So how in the heck??
I had got the basics of nail polish, no acrylic, no chillack or whatever the heck they call it…
And she had knew I was going for the simple.
Even writing about this occurance gets me all red hot again

It’s a reminder as to the reason of my cynicism towards this country .

It also is a very good picture as to how it’s changed me.
How I’ve become such a backboneless person. I can feel it in moments like that.
And I’m embarressed because I don’t like it at all.
It will not ever grow here. I know that now.