Hurted Again

We woke up beside each other again.
I’m pretty sure I went over last night after you had told me not to.

And I shouldn’t have.

You were drunk and angry and I couldn’t say anything to make it right.
For the first time in our time together, you pushed me twice.

I was in slight shock.

I’ve seen you upset and mad before,
but not like this. Not this much.

I have never taken so much hurtful words before. I have never just sat there and got verbally beaten. I have never stood for it. I have never sat for it.
You are the only one I’ve let do so.
Partially because I feel I deserve it, and partially because I’m hoping it helps. And that if you’re venting to me, maybe it won’t be to someone else.
The momementum  was such, that it even rolled into the next morning.

Your eyes blazed anger. I wasn’t scared. I just felt helpless.

I should not have went over.
I will not next time.
See? I’m learning.

 

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