A Date? With You

I just got back from the movies with you.

Afternoon movies with you. We’d never done that before.
And you were off,weren’t feeling like yourself, and you told me that within 3 minutes of picking me up.

Just more thinky, less happy and grinny. That grin that melts my heart into chocolate heart puddles! Oh how I ADORE it!
I went with it though. Held your hand in the theatres. You reached for mine too.
I rested  my head on your shoulders. You laid yours on mine.

I took my seatbelt off 2 minutes from my house and i put my arms around you while you drove and I said I miss you and you said I miss you too and you reached for my hand. And I said I love you and I had tears and you said I love you too and ‘ no crying!’ and then we were pulling into the bumpy gravel driveway and I took awhile to get out. I just wanted to kiss you. But you were sad I know.
And our date, our little whatever time we had together today, had come to an end.

I got inside and felt sad and sick and that I wanted a drink. I grabbed a soda water out of the fridge like I was angry at it. If it had a brain it would have been afraid. I paced and had to keep busy had to keep busy. My happiness.. relies on how good we are. I can’t help it I can’t help it. It’s strictly attatched. Ugh.

Until next time dear ex boyfriend of mine.
And maybe,
and  maybe, eventually,
you won’t be an ex.

That’s all my heart hopes for these days.

 

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