Different Miss

I’ve been in the disease of missing before.
Living away from the country and people and love that was around me, things that had become giant parts of me over the years.
 Yeah, it’s easy to feel disconnect when you’re not surrounded by the familiars of you.

And then you’re in the city you grew up in and after experiencing that miss, it seems more severe, more hurtful and in a way…pathetic.

I’ve established that it is miss
but a different miss, a different longing.
And all the capabilities and potential you have around you, is what makes it stronger. You get into that whirlpool of feeling sorry for yourself and that just makes you miss ‘happy you’ even more. So now you’re not only missing what you started out missing, but the absence of feeling stable. 

As powerful as homesickness can be, when you have all the tools, the language and the same culture at your hands’ existence yet only feel that one thing can fix it, you’ve kind of got it even more backwards.

I just fricken miss you and your 8 minutes away and you miss me too and I’m trying not to wait but I know I am. For you to say, ” Yeah, what are we doing. I want to be with you, I want to be with you no matter what has happened in the past. “

I know you miss me because after two days of zero contact, my phone dings at 7:08 am and it says Geeze I miss you.

 

 

 

My heart aches.

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