So Here’s How It Works?

27 years old and basically single. I say basically because I’m still hung up on my ex and want no one else. It’s like I’m still dating him in my heart and thoughts.
But the men can’t see that when they look at me. It’s not like I’m wearing a ring on that finger. ( And if I were, does it matter much these days? )

most my age tend to be in a serious relationship, ( married, engaged,dating 4 years ) have a child, living away from their parents..
I’ve noticed this not with the lack of, but with the  LOT OF — older men stepping into my space.

40 to 50 year olds’ who have a child or two, divorced or in the process, alone.
They recognize that I’m older than 17 and carry myself confidently.
I think they can tell I’m open. That talking to them doesn’t weird me out.

So when Guy stops by my co workers place to ask about me and another Guy comes in on Mothers Day to bring me flowers, it kind of hits me that I’m attracting the older because all the ones my age are with someone and that marriages or long term relationships end before one is 40 and then that person struggles to find a woman that is single and the same age and….?

At least, that’s how it works in my life right now.


Any of you girls have the same issues?



4 comments on “So Here’s How It Works?

  1. Chris W. says:

    Though not a woman, I do have a bit of insight…often I’ve experienced that need to fill a void with this person or that person. It’s been in regard to relationships and also just friendships. Just don’t feel the need to fit a body, per se, into a vacated space. I’ve done that to appease my bipolar tendencies. Be good to yourself, and surround yourself with people who will nurture that goodness.

  2. I wonder if most older guys (I suppose these would be guys my age) are looking at a much younger woman as an attempt to reboot, start over. You can’t make yourself younger again (at least not in pure reality), so you look for a partner that is the age you want to return to. These guys have the life experience of a 40-something but a yearning to be 20-something again.

    I think everyone goes through stages like this–a desire to be what you used to be with the knowledge you have now. Sometimes that works out–sometimes not. “Age is just a number.” True, but it’s also a sum of your experiences.

    When you think about it, if those luvvy-duvvy relationships of others your own age are breaking down at 40 (and divorce statistics suggest they indeed are–or even before 35), there should not only be single guys at that age–but women too. Why wouldn’t these guys go after those same-aged women with similar life experiences? It’s the answer to this question that should at least give most younger women pause when they get attention from a 40-something. 🙂

    • Lively Life says:

      Thank you very much for such a thought provoking and lengthy comment,David. Certainly put a different perspective into light and I appreciate you for doing so. It makes a different/better sense to me and your end comment made me smirk. Thanks again for enlightening details on ‘the way that it works’. 🙂

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