I Leave

It’s fear and wonderful.
That WordPress and
what WordPress,
can make you feel.

I don’t want to leave it.
Yet I know I need to,
and that I will be glad I did
when I have.

I would like not to feel bad
and whelmed over
when I don’t make the time to read yours.
It makes me feel guilty for posting.
I love reading your minds.

I want the realness of me here, in pressing Words
to poke out through my freckles and smile,
my way of being
and I need to help that
by leaving and
focus on
being open and better
out there.

I don’t want to hide things.
I was telling you what
you didn’t even ask of
and that felt good.
Even now, explaining
when ‘poof’ I could go
and it would hardly make a difference.
Habitual openness, I want!

I’ve learned a lot here,
you guys are really smart
beautiful creatures.
I am proud and impressed
and I will miss.

The stories we all share and swallow
may never get digested
properly or even at all
They can get intertwined with anothers
and not be kept straight
and that’s okay.

There are thousands of us here.

I can say WordPress,
as a club, a unity,
you’ve really made me feel smarter
and better.

Now I get to press that into all corners of Lively Life,
spread it even on the crumbs!

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you.

 

 

What’s In My Goody Closet

We should all have goody closets.

That’s where we place the fun and unnecessary objects we accumulate in life.

These are items you get excited rushes for when you think about using them. They are plans in waiting.
They are silly, youthful and beautiful to have.

Depending on your speed of collecting, usage and rate of boredom, Goody Closets should carry no more than 2 months worth.

Doller stores are my gems of affection. I rarely come out of a store holding not less than a ten dollar bag of equipment,gear,silly string, snacks, etc.

Currently in my Goody Closet I have the following:

Fake Eyelashes
I decided to buy 6 pairs of them four weeks ago and for the first time in my life I tried a pair and laughed so hard I cried. My son told me my eyelashes were ‘broken’. I intend to get my brother to try these things on and let him see what he looks like with four sets of eyelashes.

Fake Nails
This may sound boring for those of you who religiously wear them. I don’t. And if I get through putting them on without glueing my hair down with them, I’ll be happy.

Edible Sprinkles
Whether for a craft or to top peanut buttered bread. Whether to lure a mouse or to see how long they can stick on your friends face, these are bound to be messy but oh such a ball!

Temporary Tattoos

2L Bottle of Pepsi
Quick fix of caffiene that automatically comes with the giggles.

Blowing Bubble Set

Brownie Mix
Lego Movie
I’ve seen it once before and let’s just say I built a tower of inspiration inside of me.

 

 

Start collecting stuff for your Goody Closet today and let me know what goodness you come up with!

 

 

 

 

 

Opinions

Everyone you meet is going to have an opinion. Vocalized or not.
This is one of the parts that make up who they are.

Somewhere in life, they got this opinion. And because your life is different then theirs, you’ll have gathered different ones.

Don’t attack what people have gathered in life.
Embrace that part of them and recognize, it’s okay to feel differently.

Your experiences are yours alone.

And so are theirs.
Respect them.

 

6 Years Ago I Knew It Would Eventually Explode

I don’t wonder how I got to this position in my life. Strictly dealing with relationships and not the firey one I’m in the continual process of adding gasoline to.
It makes entire sense to me knowing I am here because I have chosen it. I have chosen to be here. It sucks to admit but it feels good to. I’m taking responsibility. Not to say I’m not taking responsability for the other areas of my life. I just could foresee this one panning out the way it did.

I remember thinking years ago, from time to time that eventually, it was all going to blow up in my face. And this isn’t just a little ‘ I want my sucker NOW,’ blow up- I’m talking an entire life upheaval that I knew would have me on my knees and in bed for days. I didn’t eat a thing for TWO weeks, for goodness sake.   I knew this would happen back then but I told myself I would worry about it once it happened.
Afterall I knew I couldn’t go on forever with one foot in my relationships. I couldn’t keep lying – to myself or to others-till the end of time, but I didn’t know how to stop. So I kept choosing the bad – out of pure laziness I might add- settling myself with the fact that the blow up would change things.

And it has.

I used to think this space sucked. A LOT. But no. It’s just different. I haven’t experienced anything like this in my life. I’ve cried a lot, drank a lot, drank not a lot,danced a lot, cooked a lot, been alone a lot, read a lot, hated myself, loved myself, learned and growed… it’s been really shitty at times but motivating myself is kind of a cool feeling.

It’s silly that I had to have the initial push forced upon me. But that’s how I work. Or should say, USED to work.
I’m taking initiative and figuring that in the future I don’t need a big crash like this to kick my butt in gear.
I don’t love this place, no..but you know what guys, I would take this place over the place I was at, anyday. 

Life before the life crash: I was in denial. I made myself believe I was happy,carefree and full of friendship. But really, I was just livable to myself. 

 

 

 

Now I can say I’m lovable to myself.

 

 

 

 

 

 

And that’s a fact worth living.