To Love the Center

Do you ever think back to a time period with someone and can’t remember who you really were?

A few years spent together with a person and you can’t bring your imagination to recreate how you were, how you felt.

Thoughts like these make me wonder me.

If I’m to change so drastically again- as perhaps is a continual cycle- then I and the people in my life will either have to adapt together on this or be left in the past.

Present me knows that whoever I end up choosing to spend my entire life with, has to know that the Future me could potentially forget who I was. That Present me will change.
So it is important that the Present Other knows my heart and my core – and loves THOSE parts of me. Not the ones that will change so extremely.

 

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124 comments on “To Love the Center

  1. I don’t know…
    I’m a little torn on this one. In the right hand, I get it. Every day my belief systems are being questioned and ultimately changing in various ways, but there is a core essence of who I am. I think most people are pretty open minded in that regard, whether they realize it or not. (Personally I wouldn’t date a narrow mind)

    In the left hand, I find this a little uncompromising. My way or highway. I can change when I like, so deal with it. Leaving consequences to be handle by those treading in the wake.

    At least you didn’t default to that grotesque “If you can’t handle me at my worst…” BS. ;p

    Like I said, I’m torn. How open minded are you to explain what I’m not getting?

  2. Lively Life says:

    Oh Hi! Thank you very kindly and mucho for your comment.
    I think I get the angle you’re taking on this and I’m sure I’m in the same boat when it comes to the whole ‘my way or highway’ mentality. No Thanks! ( Right?! Sheesh)
    I just think its more important as we get older to have more in depth relationships. Quality ones that really know you versus party friends or shallow friendships. I don’t think people should get angry at people for disliking changes in ourselves; i dont even think they need to like them. My best friends don’t love every single part of me, but they know my center. And that’s what makes the difference.
    And I think that relationship I couldn’t remember what I was like in? I think I’ve forgotten a lot of it because mainly it was the variables I was exposing. Not my internals- because I was to afraid too.

    Dis make some sense OI?!

    Ps. I consider myself to be quite open minded so if you’re still stuck or wondering or disagreeing or torn, do say so πŸ™‚

    • I get what you’re saying. I take it you haven’t had many close relationships or you’ve found it hard to open up to people. One could assume that’s why the relationship you was a memory of nothing. I know I’ve been in relationships where I wasn’t really myself and seemed to just exist. It’s nice to have people in life that accept you for you and to share life’s wacky adventures with.
      But I also know there will be many friends that are “shallower” in a sense. You can’t know everyone like a best friend. It would be insane to have an arbitrary number of only close friends. Yes?
      I feel like I’m getting sidetracked. Probably because I can’t figure out what you have against fake boobs. Haha.

      • Lively Life says:

        I seriously backtracked through my posts to find this response! I remembered that I had forgotten to reply to it! And I also remember bursting into a chuckle when I read the last line. Haha. Andthat’s really all i wanted to respond back with, at least that. Haha. Oh, an that I agree with having 910 best friends all on the same level. Just insane! And about the close relationships part, I always felt very close with them and was very physically connected..but looking back… man. thats messedup. Cuz I couldn’t have been close to them.. and to think i thought i was.. I suppose I wanted to speculate that in my response too. Ha!

  3. I was wondering if perhaps I said too much. I noticed most people just give you a thumbs up, but I like exploring the idea mentioned, whatever it may be. It’s hard to grow when all you do is smile and nod. You’ve earned your open minded badge. Lol.

    • Lively Life says:

      Oh MY! HI! Don’t you fret OH EYE. I wish to make time with my own two hands so I can give you back a response I am proud of and that you can be happy with too. For a one liner ‘ hey thanks for your comment’ is not what I’ll be pressing send to. Hey and while I’m at it, I thank you for the time you put into a comment- I float a little smoother because of it. We all coincide, don’tchoo know. Also. You’ve been on the trail for a little bit and I’d say it’s about time you picked up a crumb. Haha. πŸ™‚ Thanks for the delayed follow!

    • Lively Life says:

      Ps. So I’ve been wondering.. in some sense.. does being Openly Isolated mean having an empty blog site which is only used to comment, like and follow?

      • It’s empty?!? Shouldn’t be, but to be honest everything I’ve posted could also go on twitter. So I’m not very in depth with my own stuff. I like quick idea conversation starters.

        As for openly, I regret that now. (Not too concerned about that regret, I have far greater ones. Lol)It’s so “I’m an introvert and an extrovert” SO IS EVERYONE ELSE!!

        But it kinda makes sense the way you put it. I don’t blog a whole lot. I tend to comment rather than wait for comments. As a matter of fact I’ll bet I haven’t any. Lol.

        So if I were to stay on topic, I would say that “I enjoy reading and discussing ideas via blog inking lines and passenger seats.”

        Can you dig it?

  4. Had to find this thread. Haha.

    Your posts are unique and you have a very odd way of skipping around the details, but I have to ask…

    Do you even like conversations about life or just writing about how you feel and getting a thumbs up?

    Noticed you didn’t reply, but to be fair, I’m not always on here. 😜

  5. Lively Life says:

    Now I’m embarressed and disappointed in myself so I’ll crawl back into my cave and wither away . Ha! I do apologize for not responding? I must have thought I did. You see, I enjoy discussion and comments a lot that when they first pop up, I tend to wait, if it isn’t then- for a quiet time to reply. I know how I like to write and quickly replying isn’t quite the way for me. Do I spread myself thin or put time, detail and specifics into my online converssations. This is a muddled reply for me; I feel bad for not posting back and insist that i will make better attempts at replying at first sightage. Perhaps I really shouldn’t READ comments if i dont have the time to reply to them right away!
    I very much like to talk about life, in any way. It’s my favourite thing you see. Because without it, i woudn’t experience peanut butter ice caps or holding a baby bunny.

    Anyhow, you bet I can dig it. I find that interesting. A lot of us are on here to express our ideas and get our thoughts out there, but you on the other hand.. you’re like a carebear who challanges,comments,respects,and personalizes comments. Am I outta the hole yet?? Ha!

    • Perhaps. 😜

      I like the way you write, but I’ll bet we could never talk in person. You make all the sense and no sense at all! Lol

      • Lively Life says:

        You kiddin’ me? That’s the most sensical thing you’ve said all along! ( That’s me kidding. bahaha ) I think you would lose the bet because I think we’d handle ourselves just fine in person. πŸ˜€

      • Lively Life says:

        Also, must address your compliment. It glees my bones to know you like how I write. I’m one of the 382742983 out there but at least you stumbled upon me, or rode up on a horse, or a racecar. I donno. We’re here anyhow .Hehe

  6. Chalk me down as 38274298″4″

    I didn’t ride a horse. In fact, I got here in a racecar bed.

    Cheap travel. Powered by dreams. 😜

  7. I better see some royalties for my inspiration.

    Has this thread become confusing as shit?!?

    Sorry, I swore again! Here’s your bonus sentence before I hit send. 😜

  8. At least you picked on of the smartest animals on the planet. πŸ˜‰πŸ˜‹πŸ˜œπŸ˜ŠπŸ€“

    Is that too many emojis?

  9. You are a very insightful writer. I’d like to think I’m the inspiration, but I’m just a fella with a smartphone. 😜

    On a side note, I really liked your second last post.

  10. Whoa! Hold the phone!!! πŸ˜‹

    Oh yeah, well people without phones at all can inspiring as well. People were inspiring before electricity even! And before that they were inspiring before the written word!!

    So before you treat me like a phonist, let’s just agree inspiration comes in many forms and sometimes the unlikeliest of places, regardless of the delivery system. πŸ˜œπŸ˜‰

  11. Ok… so I read some conversation. You have a complicated “boyfriend”.

    If you couple that with all your “poem” posts, it reads as a description of bad relationship. There’s a thread of untrust. A thread of you wanting and a very disconcerting thread of your disire to swoon a man that does not seem to deserve you.

    So I’ll question you.

    Does he deserve you?

    Question 2.

    Does he deserve you?!?

    Sometimes we want what we feel is good for us, but that doesn’t mean our love is justified.

    Get it?

    • Lively Life says:

      I wonder sometimes if comments like these are what I hope for. That I’ll be more directly guided or be helped or figure something out by it. I post personal and journal type stuff sometimes so if I’m gonna get upset by someone crawling through the words and really seeming like they’re interested in the story, well then dang, I should just sew socks in my bedroom for a living.

  12. I am SO sorry.

    I should not have an online device in my hands after alcohol has hit the scene. I’m out of place. Shouldn’t be sticking my nose in. None of my business. And so on.

    I ran wild with my observations. Very misguided. I apologize.

    Look, I got you flowers.

    🌸🌷🌺🌹πŸ₯€πŸŒ»πŸŒΌ

    Except one of them is dying. Lol.

    • Lively Life says:

      Hey, we’re all dying but that doesn’t stop us from giving ourselves to others every now and then. I fully accept the widdled, puny of a scrawny greenery. And the others. Thank you OI.

  13. Well, I’ve been around long enough to experience the trials of love. I’m not going to pretend I know or understand which boat you’re in exactly, but if we were padding past each other we could talk about our adventures on the high seas. One like this…

    I was once engaged. In hindsight I was too young and rushed into it. She was a wonderful, spirited woman and when we really clicked, I felt like we were one. That was probably 10% of the time. (Let’s face it, a lot of life isn’t always exciting or memorable)
    The down side was how volatile her spirit could be. She would turn a grain of sand into a planet within seconds. Couple that with jealousy and soon I was nervous to be around her.

    Yet I kept trying to suppress my stress for those golden moments. I think I became chemically dependent on happiness. Haha.

    It’s a short vague example, but I’m glad I went through it. It’s made me question things a lot more. My only problem is trying not to over analyze, but I wouldn’t be writing you if I had all the answers. I’d be on my space yacht fishing for comets!

    Also, I think flirting is fine. If it’s in short bursts and doesn’t end in manipulating the situation. I’m curious why you feel like it’s a something you need to stop.

    • Lively Life says:

      Since you say engaged, I don’t take it you got married. I guess you’re not old enough to have completed that love trial? Ha. Oh that’s so cynical of me.
      I think we do end up relying on our partners to keep our happiness above the half meter. Whether we mean to or not. Maybe because our expectations tell us that it should be so? I’m all for being one person in a relationship but I think it unrealistic if we think we’re going to live like we’re unaffected by our partners words and actions. I don’t know why I’m boat talking of such things. Just paddling some ideas out there I suppose.
      That’s the cool thing about trials eh, they always got some lesson we can pass. I’ve got an A+ in the classes of Denial and Avoidance. I’m not proud of having been good at those, but I’m glad I didn’t knock my face against the desks or jet through the glass windows while it was going on.
      I see me Flirting as me receiving attention that I should be getting from my partner. If I fill up my attention beaker with others’, I become slightly removed, I respect and appreciate less.
      It’s like ordering grilled swordfish and steak, along with chicken fingers an fries. It’s like eating on things all day. My taste buds flatten and the flavor of that one meal or that swordfish is wiped out. Lemme guess. Now you need a drink. Specially with those fries. Haha.

      • Who’s to say I haven’t been married seven times? Perhaps my engagement story was just an example of an example. πŸ˜‹

        Relationships are difficult. They take work. Sometimes it’s 20% great and other times it’s 90% great. (100% doesn’t exist unless you’re a pet dog haha)
        I’ve had some very intense relationships and some dull. I think it’s a good rule of thumb to not go over your crazy limit. By that I mean, don’t try and tolerate someone if they have crossed your line miles ago.

        You know when you’re typing and forget the main topic. Lol.. sigh.

        I think you and I have different ideas of what flirting is. I think you should always be on. Keeps the mind sharp. I’m a lot more attracted to wit mind you.
        But I always like a good quip and the like. It’s like playing a sport. If you were a goalie, would you only practice if your partner shot on you? That would get old quick!
        I’m thinking you may have crossed a few lines in the past. I’m not judging, I know I’m guilty as well, but I would venture a guess that this has to do with your last relationship. No details please! I’m not interested in those. I’m just curious if I’m on the right track.

        We may learn something out of this.

        I feel like I’ve glossed over a few points I had in mind, but I guess they left my mind. What a mindless thing to say. 😜

  14. Lively Life says:

    It is very very cool and fun and interesting how I can not know that I expect a different type of response from you then the one you put, until you do put one and I realize it isn’t what I thought it’d be like. Where does one gather and how does one do it so quick and without understanding that they are. How NEAT. Anyways, yah, you glossed over points and never really made a point to dig in but at this point, I’m just pointing fingers so I’ll make a point of stopping this pointless petty pipsqueak of a now paragraph sized sentence. aha.

    NO details, Alright. Well you’re not on the left track, nor the center, so I think you’re good with the right. Go you. It’s like all that flirting you do with others has your mind so sharp it can’t be anywhere but right where it should be. Happy Weekending Kid.

  15. Is there some kind of conversation format I’m unaware of?

    How can I help by being more predictable for you? 😜

  16. You are absolutely correct! It’s like in Jurassic park when they use frog DNA to fill in the gaps. Sort of. Haha.

    Switching gears.

    So I’m really interested in these two girls. One lives in the same town and the other in the next town over. There’s nothing physical going on as of yet, but I can sense something better happen soon or I’ll end up in that friend zone. Both seem to be well educated, both live alone, both have a daughter, both are very extroverted, both have super nice and fun friends. One seems to have a little more of my kinda wit, which makes word games a blast. While the other is more into human behaviour (we watch a lot of TED talks together haha)

    Now I am little more attracted to one of them, but that’s hardly a reason to be with someone. It’s arrogant of me to think I have a shot with either of them, or that either should be so lucky just to have me…

    You seem insightful. Most just say “follow your heart” which is horrible advice. The heart isn’t the best person to take advice from. Haha.

    Any thoughts?

    • Lively Life says:

      Ha! Me? For advice? Cool!?
      By now you may have already filled a basket with hand picked grasses and given it to one of them. I don’t think I’m sorry for my delayed response. I get afraid sometimes is all and just want light and fluffy–okay not true. I like the depth but when it comes to the heart of the matter, HA, relationship chattery, I’m out. So hopefully the basket of grass helped you figure out or else you’ll decide based on as much future logicalness you can muster up in your skullage.

      • Well, to be honest, nothing has really happened either way. Maybe if I can’t decide, then neither deserves to be bothered with me. I’m not sure if this counts as relationship talk. Pretty much everything you write (not including your kiddo) has been about relationships. And if I do say so, we were talking about me, not you! 😜

        But it’s cool if you don’t want to chime in on that. That’s why I didn’t want to get too deeply involved with what you’re going through. You’ve spelt out quite a bit in your blog, but I’m a human and know that it’s just the surface of reality.

        New subject. You’re a mother.
        What do you think of this world raised on “You can be whatever you want”?

      • Lively Life says:

        Oh, OI. You’re an Opportunity. Eventually I won’t start out my truth and inside speeches with an intro, but right now I still feel a baby at it and need a transitional piece to help.
        I very much enjoy talking relationships, mine or yours or that ladies down the street. I just get slightly intimidated of you because I’m putting myself in a similar position I did in the past and you have shown similar qualities to that of a person there. And he’s there for a reason.
        I am conflicted it appears. For at the same time our correspondence is interesting, fun and makes me smile, I’m feeling a little wrong for engaging. As innocent banter it may be, I haven’t found where to put this on my moral and confidently living scale.
        So that is the plate I am putting down at your table. I don’t think I need to ask your opinion- you’ll give it to me anyways, but I would like to know what you do think.
        Eat what you will, just make sure you chew slowly!

        Oh, and about the world?
        I do think I’m more of a realist then a dreamist but hey, if my kids wants to be a fuzzy caterpillar with 32 legs, I’ll help by sewing on the antennas to his hat.

  17. Well I’m a tad offended! :p

    i had to think about it, so it became point form.

    A: shame on you for putting a cool guy that is like me in your past. I’m pretty cool too! :p

    B: It’s the internet! I’m sure I remind you of a third cousin.

    C: We barley “banter” even if it is innocent.

    D: Is a good vitamin from the sun.

    E: I get invested in life.

    F: why the F am I an opportunity?

    G: I wish I had more to say.

    H: Did you catch the “GEE” in my previous point?

    I: Think I’m funny.

    J: Walking.

    K: That’s enough! HAHA!

    Feel free to finish the alphabet, I almost got halfway.

    • Lively Life says:

      Everyone is an opportunity. Sometimes it is more apparent then other times.
      That’s what I learned from L: n Degenerous. Or maybe that was just me after I ate too many M: and M’s. I can be my own best N: amee sometimes and O! I had better mention how I tried P: nuts dipped in ketchup over the weekend and it made me more Q:ree-us but next thing I know I’m R: Gue ing with my friend the S:thetician while we’re drinking T together in the U: niverse. She wants me to go V:gan so she didn’t like that I had W:alnuts with yogurt for lunch and said I needed to get an X:ray done of my stomach after to show me the reason Y I should. Sheesh. Doesn’t she know I’m friends with a chimpan:Z ?

      Looks like I felt free enough to unchain the alphabeats from my brain cells to this here reply bubble. I think it makes for a nice song. With a few alterations. Whats one thing you like about people and one thing ya don’t ?

  18. Holy particles!

    You win the alphabet game hands down. Way down!

    That’s a pretty broad question…

    I really like ingenuity. When people trump their pride and work as a team. Love it!

    I don’t like when people are assholes because they don’t have answers. Half made up truths without thought or reason bugs my knees!

    What’s your thought on your question?

    Ok, I’ll ask one.

    What’s more important, security or experiences?

    • Lively Life says:

      Broad Shmod- You spooned the flakes of broad into the bowl just before answering the question with some slight milk of specifics. Broad is just a way for someone ( admittingly even myself ) to side step, give general responses or who don’t care to put some thought into the answers. :p . That’s my thought on my question πŸ˜€

      Experience.
      Yeah we can experience a lot in Comfort zones but there’s a certain growth that comes from risk or uncertainty. If we’re always secure whether its financially, relationshiply, living spacely, we’re like newborns that never become oldborns.
      Experience is one of those things that can make the insecure people in their secure positions, secure.

      Do you think people can change? In what ways?

      That specific enough for ya? :p

      • What the?!?!?

        I totally answered the question! Shmod was not broad at all. I totally believe people can change. I would hope they do. There are times of stale pond water, but one should grow when the fresh rains come.Experience for sure. Some people don’t grow from the past and that’s a bit of a sad face 😦 like that. There have been times in my life where I’ve believed I was doing what was best and then later thought about it. “What was I thinking?” That’s life, you can’t look to the back of the book for answers, but you can certainly have a reference guide to what has transpired. Now if only I would apply these thoughts all the time! Haha.

        Sometimes I wonder if I change too often or much though. Am I shaking things up in a random fashion because I’m complacent? Always looking for the new. Sometimes if it ain’t broke, why fix it?

        Thanks for getting my hamster wheel in motion. I like these thinking ways of thought.

  19. Lively Life says:

    Well hamsters don’t ever reach their destination on a wheel, but hopefully you found a spot in your head while running that deemed a stop and conclusion. Or else you’re still running and by this time, running over wheelkill and going slightlybonkers. ( glad to help your wheels πŸ™‚ )

    You did totally answer the ‘broad’ question. It was my point exactly. πŸ˜‰

    I like the back of the book thing you said. And definitely, i think it can be difficult to apply what you know all the time. Sometimes x+z=y doesn’t work for situations and we get kerfuddled trying to come up with all the other formulas we know are in our brain but just can’t quite locate or because under pressure or because well.. we just become accepting, adorable little hamsters.

    DO you find yourself switching things up just because you feel you’re supposed to? And is that a bad thing if you are? I guess I see it both ways. Someone stays in there place for so long they don’t grow so much. People can be comfortable with sameness,routine and patterns. Others need to buy a different brand of soap every week because they like to change it up. So at what point does it become dangerously too mucho? Does it depend on what you want outta life? And what it is you are regularly switching up? If you want to be with family at 40, yet are changing out partners left right and center, does it mean you’re too picky, unsatisfied with yourself, or just haven’t found the one you wanna argue with for life? That one’s a big decision so maybe taking time with it is a good thing.
    Changing your phone for the newest model? Vehicle? Personality ? ( now that’s a scary one. )
    You sound slightly conflicted on the idea – changing too much or not often enough. I think sometimes we all swim in the pond of stale, and that’s okay. It’s like a stillness before the whirling wind of tornado that gulps down brick houses and hippos. ( oh,Is there any other kind of rain other then fresh? ) And being still is important. Now, that’s something that can be difficult to do on a regular basis. Getting still. And not TOO still that you begin to grow mold. Are you afraid in some ways you’ll grow mold?

    • That was a lot to take in. Big response. I like it.

      Yeah, I seem to like change and shaking things up, but you’re right. The still water of the pond is much needed. Over the years I’ve seen myself become consumed with work or a relationship and land in stagnant. I’ve lost a few jobs and relationships in the process. It’s hard to win sometimes. I guess I feel like there’s something out there I’m missing. Blah blah blah.

      Spring has sprung. So that’s a new thing. Let’s see what mother Earth brings. I can only follow my true self and act accordingly.

      Well that got deep. Haha.

  20. Why am I awake?!?

    Here’s the honesty in a drunk blog text.

    AKA, sorry I’m drunk but don’t give a shit.

    Ok, I give a shit. I had to edit all of the above a lot!

    I’ll be embarrassed about this later.

    Sent by the silly head that was a silly head.

  21. Thank God I didn’t go off on some crazed rampage. What a Mook. Sorry for that waste of a message. Haha

  22. Lively Life says:

    I don’t really think you believe it was a waste of a message. We make up untrue feelings and attach them to certain actions because it a) allows for place to blame to pull up a chair and relax, b) releases us from any responsibility the action represents and c) well because it’s easy to.

    Now, of course I’m wondering what all the editing was all about. I don’t wonder why you wrote me. I’d probably write me to, based on our past chattery.
    And that seems kinda a neat that you give a shit, even if I don’t know what that’s all giving.
    I bet it’s a beautiful though.

  23. I wasn’t ready for the night to end and I knew you were fun to talk to. So that’s where that was headed, but you were probably sleeping. Good thing I don’t have your phone number lol.

  24. I’m pretty sure it would have ended in pure nonsense. Not sure I had any cohesive thoughts that would have been strung together.

    How have things been in the world you live in. Sometimes your more poetic posts make little sense to me. Maybe that’s the point? It’s a self expression? I don’t have a mind for poetry. So win that battle. Haha

    As for me, I’ve been involved with what could hopefully become something. The only down side. She lives 5 hours away. Why would my good of a heart do that to me?!?

    Not frilly or intense, but it’s something. πŸ˜†

    • Lively Life says:

      Yeah. Something something.
      So five hours huh. Doesn’t seem so bad. Maybe this is your hearts way of showing you love. If you can’t handle the long distance, then you very well won’t handle the short- everyday for 60 plus years.
      I figure if you just wanted a light airy fairy, see each other for certain things only- girlfriend around, I suspect you’d find one in your area so this dabbling into hours away thing- well hey. It’s a story of it’s own . What more about it. Do tell!

      The world I’m in turned into food for awhile there. Wasn’t so good but I guess that’s what happens when you’re spending time with people that eat a lot. May brings some motivation around and not a new set of friends, just boundaries and dedication. Which okay yes, it’s been two Maydays, but Ima pride myself on the little things. At least for now.

      My posts sometimes don’t make sense. Glad you’ve discovered the same. I like putting words together that don’t mean anything yet sound complete and cute and worth something in my head. It’s the sound that makes sense to me. Maybe your’ll find that now that you won’t be searching for a meaning.
      Well not to be fully charged at 100% ;-my poetic posts as you called them -do have some reason or subsistence of root. They may carry truth that I’m too wimpy to say in big, direct, real adult words.
      Oh and yay- I won a battle. What’s one you’d think you’d win with me?

  25. That’s a very interesting point. It would be very easy to get into a relationship with someone that lived within 30 minutes of me and I’m certain there are many women right under my nose that would wow my socks off, but it’s not happening that way. Yet it almost is. I’ve known this girl since she was 4. Well, more like known of through family and friends. I think the last time I saw her before now was about 15 years ago. Then along came FB and we became friends that would toss a few lines of text back and forth every couple of years. Then about 4 months ago I asked her about a tourist attraction near to where she lives and we’ve spoken every day since.

    It’s not an ideal drive, but it’s not impossible. There’s still plenty of weekend to be had.

    I liked the part about love. If you can make that work at a great distance then it must be worth it. The internet certainly mitigates that overwhelming feeling of missing someone. People must have been losing their minds before the telephone. Haha.
    But then again, you would only have access to the people near you in that scenario.
    Just taking it one day at a time and enjoying myself. A connection can come from the unlikiest of places, but I think she’s worth it.

    I think I was able to nutshell that pretty nicely. Lol

    So do you literally mean you were eating food or is that a metaphor? I can’t tell with you.
    And that’s why I would win the battle on clarity. πŸ˜‚

    • Lively Life says:

      That is pretty dandy you’ve known her for as long as you have. That always seems to make a difference. Have you seen her in person yet? Or was the last time still 15 years ago. I would think this talking everyday thing speeds things up – in general. I would think getting to know of one another is a quicker process then pre internet. Do you think you are learning more about her online versus someone you meet in person and see in person?

      Back far enough in time, do you think the majority of lovers were an item simply because it was convenient andpeople didn’t step an elbow outside of their area so didn’t meet any others of interest?
      Yets we hear stories of war loves and writing back and forth for years..I believe that kind of love has lessened or is more rare in some way because everythign is so instant. Because we know we have that access we dont need to proove we can last through one letter every two months. And if a couple DID try that out, all the worry and stress over who the other is texting or video chatting with could be an issue. Oh, good old fashioned love. I miss it and I never even knew it.

      Yes, Literally food was eaten.I can see the unclear of how I put that. Hm. I wonder if you had the choice of being able to tell what I always mean or the way it is now with some guesses and space for your own imagination to whip up wahtever you’d like or your brain to attempt for accuracy; if you would continue to choose the way that it is.
      I do think there is a little bit of fun giddy to putting pieces together. Besides, in 5 years time ( in knowing someone ) the puzzle is less of a puzzle and more of an knowing artscape where creation and curious has to be built in a different way. Or else your relationship plummets to the ground.
      I think I’m babbling correctly.

      And alright, you take the trophy for clarity even though I’m going to conclude with bringing up my previous mention with an add on that’s decently crystal.
      I see it as such: Old fashionlove stays inthat time period. And newfound modern love, well, it’s right here right now and old fashion can’t be in new age era just like modern love couldn’t be in old times era.
      Now that I’ve got that straightened out in my head, next pondering could be, what makes todays day and age love work ? All different things to account for.
      Pressing send to you.

  26. I was thinking much further back. Like before cars. How long would you walk to see a boy? That kinda thing. So of course it would be someone within a mile or so.

    I know I’ve known her a long time, but that’s just a blip on the cosmic calendar. I never knew her before now. I still don’t know her, but we have become closer. Learning day by day. I’ve enjoyed how things have evolved​. It helps that we have common connections​ so there’s no need to bullshit and twist reality in any way. Sure it’s surface value to start, but the onion is revealing more each day. Honesty slips through and we share more about everything.

    This feels like I’m calling into some kind of love hotline. Haha. Except it’s not about a beef.

    I will agree with you about instant gratification. The internet makes it easy to swipe left or right. Yeah, I did the tinder thing. So yucky! But there is a kind of romance in waiting for a letter. Remaining faithful. Which must mess with people. How do you know that person you find special isn’t chatting in the bathroom with some new flame? Don’t feed my insecurity!! Haha.

    My only hope is that romance is alive and can see it through. That’s why we have made some games of things. We play punch buggy. Pic version. We also play this recreation game where you draw a picture and the other has to take that pic IRL. And one we haven’t done yet is the letter, but we talk all the time so we came up with a random letter to the other set in another time period. It’s a call and answer idea. As in, I write a letter about crossing the Alps with my adventures​ and she replies. Then it’s done, then she makes a scenario and I reply. It’s silly I know, but she’s really fun and goes with it.

    I think I’ve lost my place… Forget what I’m replying to now. Oops.

    I appreciate you asking these questions. It helps me think about this in a different way. And you were very clear about it. Haha.

    I’m sure I’ve missed something… Oh! I’m going to see her next month and then again in July. In July I’ll just happen to be near her. So if next month works out, then we shall see. Such a fantastic mess lol.

    Chew on that and hit send again. In the meantime I’ll try to think of something to ask you in return.

    • Lively Life says:

      Our chat seemed to hold a different bend in the beginning. . I scrolled back for fun and it was a playful dance and when the song changed, we went from hip hoppin’ to waltzing. a certain type of grow-and-learn experience that maybe one day would top the charts somewhere in the world and we’d probably then, both have won the same battle.

      HEY SHAWEET in seeing her for June. How tremendous!
      And all those games and little seeds you water that bring out creativity, excellent.I often find that I am surrounded by people that don’t suggest the building or starting of a game or new project. That I am the one that sets it on the table,to dish the rules out. that I initiate the set up of a little cardboard box where imagination permeates all cardboard box air.
      I wonder if it is because I enjoy their reactions. If I find a bit of special to myself because I can make something up.

      I don’t know how old you are, but I find dating in late twenties offer a different spin on physical. I’m the kind that like to collect my info before becoming beyond friends intimate. Onlineyou get the stuff that can really count- the roots, the stuff that may take partners that are more physical first, 6 months to learn of. Physical is important but I think sometimes that takes precedence when it shouldnt. A few Monday grubs for ya.

  27. I’m not following your music reference clearly, but the more you chat the easier it is to dig deeper. Which ties into your statement about becoming friends before you dive in and get physical. I tend to think it could heighten the physical intimacy because of the comfort before and after. Pillow talk if you will. That’s what I like. I know we’re designed to want to have sex with someone we think is attractive, but it’s the mental connection that stirs my butterflies.

    As for the creative, I think it’s ever so important to retain a healthy sense of silly. Be playful!

    Oh, almost forgot. My lady and I were discussing something along the lines of how you like their reactions. I had said something along the same lines. That is was her reaction to some silly thing I made or did that nurtured my creative side and how important that relationship of give and take can be.

    Thanks for the grubs.

  28. Did I leave this too close ended?

    I enjoy your perspective.

    Maybe you’re busy?

  29. Lively Life says:

    So you’ve discovered and found the same with you eh? Of it being other peoples reactions that motivate you to create. I don’t think that’s all too astonishing. We are affected by peoples (initial) exposure to things. Specially if we’re behind the impact or impression.
    If a customer is really impressed by my knowledge on rubber boots and they express it or even if they don’t but I get the sense they are, it’ll push me further to learn more or do better at work. That’s why I thikn voicing appreeciation or pointing out nice things about people, is important. It drives people to be better.

    As for the song thingymaboo I used to describe our chattery from beginning to now, it’s basically as you put it; digging deeper. That evolvement is something we get to visually go back on.

    All the grub for now!

  30. I just fell I love with this song.

    Why I should to share with you first? No idea! Maybe we needed a song…

    • Lively Life says:

      Well that was a sleepy refreshment of soft, delicate strength. Thank you for sharing. It reminds me of motivation I go in and out of- just took a weekend of unhealthy for a whirl.. ‘ it’s not easy having apples and tea for a week straight, but at least i know it’s gonna get good.

  31. Did you party all weekend or engage in an unhealthy relationship?

    Apples and tea? Is that some sort of diet?

    Am I asking too many questions?

    What’s your stance on hamsters?

    How often do you star gaze?

    If a train leave Chicago a 9:55 am and… Ok skip this one…

    Do you camp at all?

    What’s a song you’ve recently discovered?

    Have you ever had a long distance relationship?

    Do socks need to match? They’re not like shoes. A left and a right.

    What does your creative bug crave?

    Hmm, I guess that’s what happens when you just start typing. Haha.

    • Lively Life says:

      I don’t remember the last time I partied. But that doesn’t tell me anything because either I drank enough I forget it happened or it simply didn’t happen.
      After a week of 9 pm bedtimes and I wouldn’t say so much a diet as a lifestyle I want to style my life with-ha!-, the weekend came late and brought pizza bites, fries and a few-okay- a lot of Caesars. Dammit!

      I used to wonder why I enjoyed questions so much.
      It basically gives me the idea that Im divulging info and makes me feel able to store a certain amount of the really good info. It makes me feel okay about with holding. The same goes for asking people questions. It was always the way out. Direct attention at them means less on me. For the longest time I didn’t even realize I was doing that. I try to get more out now with people in my life because keeping quiet means people aren’t loving all of you.

      Hamsters don’t offer much feelings of love for me. If I had one, I doubt they would make me that happy. They might make me laugh every once and awhile. Like, they hop on their wheel for all of 2.5 rotations and then bounce off like ‘ Pfft, yeah, I knew I wasn’t going anywhere’

      I like to think that stars gaze at me wondering why the hell I’m not up there with them.Ha, no.. I really need to more. I think I do more blue sky,sunshine,cloud watching and maybe it’s cause I’m either in the city at night or in bed. Or cuz I’ just don’t stop and take the time to do it.

      Like trains, when I do set my alarm I do it not at 10 or 12:30 but at some funny number like 10:03 so I at least wake up smiling at that funny off number. K, not true about waking up chuckling. But it does satisfy me.

      I camp a few times a summer. I’m so good at it I haven’t even had to get better since I was 5.

      Miley Cyrus-Malibu

      When you live for awhile on the other side of the world, all those relationships with friends and family turn long distance. It just kinda happens. Sometimes you get into long distance relationship with yourself too. And that poses a big problem. So you kinda gotta put effort into making sure you keep the distance between your head and your heart to a little.

      Socks whisped in my ear one night a few years ago – I was damn glad they were the clean ones- telling me they preferred if they didn’t match. Like identical twins who detest dressing the same, they wanted to stand out individually. I said okay and didn’t pair my socks up ever again.

      Creative bug and it’s craving.. Hm… Either I need to make a guitar song or a video of me and outside. Sometimes when I’m down, just watching back on videos of myself, whether it was for someone or made for purpose of creating, makes me feel good and happy about myself. I think the goofiness gets lost on people sometimes – and I find not all places are as receptive to it. And that’s cool and everything, lots of reasons for that but yeah.. wanna make a song with me ?

      Hm. guess that’s what happens when you take time and you take desire and you put them together. Haha.

  32. Haha, yeah I’m not sure I understand the hamsters either.

    You must star gaze more than you think, being an artisan outdoors woman an all. I only had one camping weekend last year and I should have brought some Caesers with me!

    So you strum the guitar eh? Not to take anything away from that, I’m in the same boat, but is there anyone who doesn’t play the guitar? I wouldn’t call myself a musician, but I can handle a tune. I have really touched the strings in the last few years though.
    Videos are fun to make. Especially now that the smart phone is so smart. It’s pretty easy just to toss something together.
    That’s pretty funny about the socks. I didn’t have that same encounter, but me and socks are cool with not matching. Maybe this is a snap judgement, but you would think that a girl would be pickier about such a thing. Oh, you’re a girl and you have a son! Happy mother’s day, yesterday. Oops.

    Well I’ve lost my train of thought now… So here ends this segment.

    How hard do you work on your relationship? Or do you feel it should be a natural beauty that just exists and needs no oil or maintenance?

    • Lively Life says:

      It’s interesting how non guitarists tend to magnet to each other. I have a group of pals that are not musically inclined in the slightest. Then I have another group that jams everytime we’re together.

      I don’t use smartyphones to make video. It’s usually clips from an actual camera and laptop with a keyboard and a simple video editing program. But I do agree, smartphones make it easier to mash things together and have it look cool.

      Yeah, snap judgement with the sock thing alright. Sheesh! But it’s okay because I agree. Teehee. And hey,, thanks for the mothers day sentiment. I kinda dislike moms day and really just figured it out this year. It’s a day that stares in my face and says ‘ yo, you’re not as good a Mommy as you can be’. It’s basically myself pointing out all my faults in loving my child and I end up feeling madly guilty for not helping him put his shoe on in the morning all because I wanted to put my clothes in the laundry bin first. Guilty in general for just sucking somedays.

      How hard do I work on my relationship. I like this question. I will answer this as how I will be in whatever relationship I’m in next. Not the ones in my past because I didn’t know what the fack I was doing in any of them. Well I do, but it is nothing I want in my future.
      Natural beauty is something that can age – and rightfully so- and still look wonderful. Without oils or creams or etc. Right? (I’m talking about a human specifically.) Howeva if their mind is not kept active, if they do not make the effort to keep their brain fit; whether that means good lengthy conversation with best friends or keeping up with the news or doing crosswords, then their brain suffers.
      Everyones idea of beauty is different. But to me, a 62 year old woman can be so incredibly stunning to the eye, but if she can’t remember her name or know what a smartphone is ( of course it makes a difference if she suffers from a certain disease but i don’t call aging a disease), her natural beauty as a whole, is tainted.
      Okay. I went the long way around that one, but what I really mean to say is that I want to work hard on my relationship. I need to love my relationship. So that requires healthiness and awareness of reasons behind things. It means checking in and uncovering eavestroughs of dirt and raking up piles of whatever gets thick. It means putting in work. Not enough that I am exhausted and not enjoying it, but applying a balance that makes for a good air circulation. One wouldn’t know it from my past, but I find working on a relationship, fascinating and beautiful. It’s like creating something you get to keep with you wherever you go with someone you love.
      The relationship may be naturally beautiful, but it ain’t gonna be interesting to me, it ain’t gonna hold a solid attraction or amazement if in 30 years time, it is rotting from the inside. Natural beauty only takes you so far.
      What’s all your take on this?

      Since you gave me a song to listen to and I gave you one back, I am interested in more of what your ears here. Could I have two more please?
      Here’s another for you. : Roscoe James Irwin- Arrows.

  33. Relationships… Oh boy. Haha

    I fully agree with you about keeping your mind fit. Being in a healthy state inside and out can only benefit you. I’m amazed at how some people only have one relationship. Highschool sweethearts that grow old together. I kinda feel we need to have some shitty relationships in order to figure them out. But maybe highschool sweethearts have more patience? I imagine they go through shit times as well. I don’t know, I didn’t marry my highschool gf.

    So it’s important to be a version of yourself you’re happy with and enjoy maintaining, otherwise you’re just wasting someone’s time for sure. Like you said, rotting from the inside.

    I don’t have all the answers. I don’t think anyone can. A relationship never stops. There’s no end game, you have to work at it every day and then eventually die, which sounds incredibly bleak, but isn’t it better to have worked at making something than just living in something that is made?

    I’m glad to have experience on my side. Being able to a set of tools into something new, but there’s always something you never planned on and a chance to learn and grow. One would hope. Haha.

    Like now, I spend a lot more time on my phone, because of the distance, which makes me feel disconnected with my surroundings sometimes. But should I feel that way? I’m not wasting my time on pointless click bait, I’m connecting with someone I care about. Like you had to with your family. You adapt and get used to it. Does that make it right or wrong? Can technology bring people together or does it drive us apart? Think of all those online dating sites, it must work for some people and others must be miserable. Staring at a screen wondering why no one emails them. Or even worse. What if you’re fake online? Living a lie. Maybe that’s easier to do than actually fix yourself. Not you personally, but somebody.

    Holy shit I’m rambling! So many thoughts and questions I don’t have answers for. These emails are introspective. I like them. Friendly open discussion. You’re easy to talk to. I’m sure your next adventure in relationships will thrive because of it.

    • Lively Life says:

      Can I ask how you many years you’ve experienced life? If so, then I ask you, how many years have you lived? If not, I’m not really that sorry for finding out you don’t care to divulge your years. Hehe.
      Age isn’t a big deal. But experience is. So perhaps I shall better ask, have you been in many different types of relationships? Short ones, long ones, long distance, team work ones, dramatic, calm, courageous, cooling,creative? I don’t know why all the c’s came up. Ha!
      What do you think you have learned from them?

      I think there’s a balance to this phone age. That it’s important to take steps back and look up. To make the choice to be okay with going into the grocery store without phone. It can be scary for some- it’s true. Classes need to be taught in schools-both on socializing and experiencing life outside of the phone, and on the etiquette of it’s usage.
      I think younger generations growing up don’t know how to be confident without one. I’m’ afraid but I don’t worry.

      I get that you’re phone usage is different then scrolling through feeds.
      I’m all for forward movement and future.
      But I really think balance is key. Knowing when to put down your phone, being comfortable without it and viewing it as something different altogether. It is a tool that allows connection yes, but also a tool that can drill holes into your everyday living and happiness.

      I am sure living lies through phone is easier then fixing oneself. I bet so many turn to that.
      Lots of people are stuck.
      Glad you consider me easy to talk to.
      I also wonder about my next relationship; I’ve even dreamt it will be my last.I am eager to get into one because I have all these fantastic learnings to put into place. I’m not impatient but I am not patient!. Baahahaha.

      How do you think you fair with the phone balancing act?

  34. Oh jeepers. I’ve been in all those relationships.

    But it wasn’t until several years ago in my early 30’s that I really began to learn from them. I’m not sure why it took me so long to see all the mistakes I was making, but it finally hit me hard.

    I’d have to say it takes a good heart break to smarten a person up. As much as it sucked. I’ve had my heart broken a few more times since and it never gets easier, but the wisdom is a bonus. By the sounds of things, you’ve learned a lot recently. You’re pretty eager haha. And who doesn’t want there next relationship to be their last?!? πŸ˜‹

    I think I do alright with the phone. I’ll purposely​ leave it at home sometimes​. Or I’ll let my special​ someone know I’m gonna be away from it.

    I live alone, but I eat at the table and place my phone in a basket in the living room. That way I can enjoy some music and maybe read a little while I eat. It’s relaxing.

    There’s a balance to it all, I agree. There was a time when all we had was email on the internet. You might be too young to remember those days. Haha. But it would be interesting to live a week without the tech. I would like to get to a place where the phone was just for calling someone. It’s a work in progress.

    • Lively Life says:

      I really liked your phone in basket idea. Living alone I am certain it is tempting to fill your time up with screenery and it can become the norm without effort.
      Heartbreak. oh yes. and then came rock bottom for me. Which of course; the only way you can go is up. But it’s a lot more messier than that. And long. And tiring. Quitting is an option anytime where difficulty is in place in this process. Which is about 84% of the time.
      So anyhow, we survive that and know what we didn’t know before and we are more aware and aligned and sometimes we find we’re searching for anything that resembles or are familiar with and either are repulsed by it or aggressively attracted to it because we know what to do with it this time around.

      ICQ and MSN. Those were already functioning when I first got email so i guess I never did know internet when it just meant inbox.
      You think phones can be just phones now? I’m not sure if that’s the route they’re taking but it would be interesting!

  35. Oh wow, I’d forgotten about icq. Haha

    Well I hope you’re more than 84% sure you’re ready for a new relationship. It sounds like you are. You seem confident in lessons learned and have an eagerness. There’s nothing worse than dating damaged goods. Speaking as someone on both sides of that coin.

    So do you really feel like that on mother’s day? I can kinda see your point. I also think the day has lost a bit of meaning. It seems like more of a pain in the ass to get all the kids done up and then wait in a lobby with a bunch of other restless family’s just to get shitty service from a stressed out server. Maybe mother’s day would more fun if the world was less populated. I’ve come to the conclusion that mother’s are the problem come mother’s day. Haha.

    Ok, maybe that’s a stretch, but I do see how the day could be more of a pain than not.

    • Lively Life says:

      And I suppose when it’s mine- or yours’ birthday, we’re the problem on that day too!
      True about the restaurant. I think that’s more stressful to a mother and is why half of us just want a quiet day where everything is done for us.

      I cant decide if I think we are all damaged goods or all not. I think how we deal with the past is the broken part. And I kinda think we’re all broken. ‘Cause if we were all perfect and 100% where we wanted to be and who we wanted to be, we’d have nothing to improve.And probably grow mold and be dust saturated and have no real desire to do anything.
      I’d like to think we all like to grow. Maybe some of us just start growing with someone else before we have fully developed some essential qualities for ourselves alone.

  36. That’s a good reply to the mother’s day. Haha.

    But do the birthday’s​ before you’re an adult count? It’s not like you decided for your parents to birth you. πŸ˜†

    I was speaking more in the way of getting involved when you’re still broken. But I like your outlook on how we are all improving.

  37. Lively Life says:

    I still can’t say since becoming an adult that I made the decision to choose that my parents would make me!

    Yeah, being still broken and getting involved is a common theme. Its distraction, its all these rich beautiful feelings.
    I mean, I really think 95% of relationships start with at least one person broken. But maybe that’s just because of me and my track record. My love-o-meter was dangerously close to non existent and I didn’t even know it.
    What’s one of the biggest occurrence/ experiences that helped you be a better person?

  38. Ok, then not until you can have kids. Then there’s not a choice. This idea has gotten complicated. Haha

    I can’t say it was a particular moment in time, but I know that my ability to have my mind changed about an opinion has helped me greatly. To have an idea and speak openly, even if it’s not a fully formed thought, is a great thing in my mind. Talking things out and gaining perspective.

    Pretty much what our thread has been. Lol

    So cheers to you!

    • Lively Life says:

      Ha! That twinkled to me! And it’s such a good point- to be able to say what you are thinking and feeling without refraining. Without thinking there’s a closed door at the end because somone is set on their ways and not available to take in waht you are saying. It’s nice to have that openness- that’s how ya get the deep , rich relationships right?

  39. I totally agree.

    If you can start with a crude idea and talk things out with open minded folks. Well that’s golden.

  40. I can think of many failures that have given me experience, to create judgement. That goes back to your point about being a little broken. If you’re not growing, then you may get all moldy or whatever you said. Life would be boring if everyone was perfect. Or would it? Would we even know? Have you seen that movie Pleasantville? Reminds me of that.

  41. Lively Life says:

    I haven’t seen the movie Pleasantville but it sounds like a name i would call a town. And sounds like a perfectly interesting movie πŸ˜›

    Biggest occurrence that helped me be a better person:
    Getting broken up with and everything surrounding that.

    At what point would I have lifted my head up and say, ‘hold up, you is not being careful with other peoples lives and feelings- you are reckless, ruthless and aren’t that great of a human bean as you portray. You know it but don’t even care’.
    That’ was the biggest wake up jolt in my life thus far.

    I’m also fascinated in how to get people and myself, more comfortable with a topic. I try it on me a lot and try to move out of my self- which in turn, becomes new part of self. I like when I can know that where I am in conversation, isn’t a place I actually care to be or care to revisit. Makes me feel stability because that’s one more boundary I’m okay with placing down. It does depend on the people in interaction. Some produce different comfortablility levels.

    Did you know you have selective reading/answering? πŸ˜›
    I think I’m more of a detail spiller at this rate — but I like that I feel comfortable enough to do so.

  42. Am I?

    I didn’t realize that. I just go with my instant thought on what I read.

    What’s something I missed that you would like to know?

  43. Lively Life says:

    Hehe, well for now at least two songs you like πŸ™‚

  44. That was a very brave, raw and honest thing to share. Thank you πŸ™‚

    Glad you feel that comfort. Not with just me, but yourself.

    Two songs… Wow, I’m drawing a blank. Trying to think of what songs are on the radio that I like. Was shocked to hear Chris Cornel passed, so I did listen to a song of his I really like.

    • Lively Life says:

      Sometimes I be brave :p
      Yeah, it’s nice to feel comfortable, haha.

      Astonishing lyrics really- I like them.

    • Lively Life says:

      In any given conversation with woman, what topics do you sway to? What comes up naturally? Is it really different each time?

      And answering your creation question here πŸ™‚ :
      Last thing I made- well I picked up paints about a month back and so have been skiddoodling around on dollar store canvas. In the colder months I tend to stick to video editing; got 2016 to complete, I think I’m only to June in that one. Gah! But beaut weather calls for seeing the sun and the sun seeing me. I sit out and play guitar a lot. I come up with super duper lyrics when I first sit down and they always end up not super duper when I know im recording. And get worse the longer I sit and play. Shuckaloo!
      So if running around and doin fancy headstands is creative, that’s been my outlet the last few weeks. Nothing really to hold or to keep, besides my writing.

      Do you stick to yourself a lot? Do you have a group of friends you see occasionally?

  45. So what do you do creatively​? Like what was the last thing you made? Do you stick to guitar and your movie camera or have the glue and scissors come out?

  46. You’re message πŸ’―!

    As far as topics go, I think I don’t think. I’m no sure I sway towards certain subject matter. Anything that ends up on the table is fair game. I’m sure there are things that only men talk about, but I find women more interested in conversation about deeper life subjects​. Which is a blanket statement, but for me it’s true.

    Tonight I’m hanging out alone, kind of a research night. Things I’ve wanted to learn about. I use a list making app and add things I’m curious about. Otherwise I’ll forget and maybe never know. But yes I do have friends. Haha. I’m not out all the time, but there’s always a BBQ or a friend to watch a movie with or a hike weather permitting. Headstands… Probably not.

  47. Lively Life says:

    Headstands run in the family and after my dad, I’m the only sibling running it on. And maybe only cousin. Lotta pressure to continue it :p

    I thought of this just now. Jokes and dishing them out when you’ve just met someone.I think of how confusing that could be. Really jokey people are uncomfortable sometimes at first and that’s not because i know they are real jokey people-i find that out later- but because i can’t tell what’s supposed to be funny or not. And knowing there sense of humor helps figure out what they are being sarcastic about or not. Sometimes it’s really confusing. So I always think that people with jokeyness in their brain all the time must struggle a bit when meeting people.

    Yeah, i have to make lists to on some things. Specially before bed – it’s so odd for how many times it happens- I convince myself everytime that I’ll rememrber it in the morning. I rarely do!

    I find I get into deeper conversations with men more then woman. It’s interesting. i think I need to be really close to a woman,,-kno her for awhile and feel comfortable whereas a man I think I can dive in with my eyes closed. Hm. I wonder why that is.

    .

  48. I’m not sure I agree with that. Yes people use humor in awkward situations as a coping mechanism, but I know some very confident and funny people. I feel confident when meeting new people and will splash in some humor for levity. A good laugh puts people at ease.

    Why can you dive right in? It got me thinking about some of the contributing factor for me and women.im heterosexual, so naturally I wanna talk to girls. I always hung out with the girls in school. They were my best friends up until grade 10 or so. That’s when things were beginning to change. Haha… I wasn’t close with my father, so I’m not sure I knew how to relate to men early on. Which might be a blessing because I can freely express my emotions. I can’t know if any of this is true, but it was nice food for thought.

    • Lively Life says:

      Are we ever full? Heh, it’s been nice munching on these snacks. They’re kinda like little energy bars.

      I’m more confident with men; have been since grade 10. All though that would make them boys then and HA! it’s the opposite for you and I. What things were changing for you around grade 10?
      So I suppose the confidence is what makes diving in easier versus doggy paddling or even approaching at all. If all of males were one giant city, I would feel more comfortable rerouting myself around those streets and would be lost and disorientated at female city.
      Have I tried walking those streets? Yeah. And they were pleasant and all but lacking. Maybe I go off of the attraction and attention. That appealing sense of mystery. The idea that this man could end up liking me and want to date me. Maybe that is my underlying goal?! Oh my!

      People can be funny and can make us roar with laughter. But What someone finds funny, another might not,ya?. Funny is good when it works. People can launch out a joke and it falls completely flat because the difference in what people find chuckleworthy. I mean, kudos to them for taking a leap and being vulnerable about it. Sometimes people just keep trying with the same sense and that’s what I think makes me feel weird. And that disconnect. I’d rather get to know them first i think, then their sense of humor will make sense to me. But you have got me thinking appreciatively on the fact that funny people are taking risks. People use funny in a lot of ways for different reasons and sometimes their nature is to try their hand at funny when they first meet someone. I think I”ll be more noteworthy now! Thank ya!

  49. There’s an interesting thing about humor. I’ve heard it compared to music. You might like rap and I might like country. It’s still music, but I connect with one style. So humor is a lot like that in my eyes. The only down side is that people need to be closer in humor than in music. I can listen to my in music, but I can’t not listen to your “terrible” sense of humor. Aka, different sense of humor.

    Grades 10-11 I became very self conscious and struggled to fit in. I began feeling the pressure of my peers when it came to women and I just wasn’t ready for the physical aspect.

    I totally agree with the attraction and attention. More often than not it’s the physical attraction that gets the ball rolling. Then you just hope the other person fits your criteria. I almost said physical attraction always comes first, but then realized this thread has been going on for awhile and in this case the attraction is in the form of ideas and words.

    So that’s kinda fun eh?

  50. Lively Life says:

    I really like the comparison of humor to music. I agree completely .

    And good point on the lack of physical in our existence and communicating still. That’s one thing I’ve found with dating at my age.Guys really jump into the physical while I’ll be most receptive and comfortable with it once the connection is in place.

    Are you Canadian?

  51. What gave it away? Did I say aboot?

    I’m not certain what age that is, but I’m sure guys are like that at any age. Haha

    • Lively Life says:

      I had a feeling you might reply with that.
      I remember dating at 17, at 20 and not having the second time together be a full fledge get yourself on me now type of thing. That’s all. The desire may be the same back then but it’s refined and contained! Did I rhyme just then or what! It’s looked at a bit differently with age I think. And that means different ways of going about and thinking about.

      Aboot? Sheesh, come on- we canadians all know that doesn’t actually exist and it’s just their ears that are funky.
      Haha

      • Lively Life says:

        So somehow I think I flagged your last comment as spam? When I looked back to my screen that’s what it told me had happened. So, me so sorry- i hope that doesnt affect your stuffs. Gulp.
        I had also been in mid reply and that disappeared too.

        Your impatience must be happy for the relaxing holiday.Our chat has been consistent and speedy and I recall you having broken weeks of life because you were waiting so long for replies. Lol.
        How much would you say you poke fun at people?

        Yeah, I think Americans are just used to hearing themselves talk. Haha. I do think this running joke between the lands is fun and cute.

    • Lively Life says:

      ( I’m just gonna pop this into this spot in case my other comment didn’t show up in your notifications. I did reply on another response )

      • It shows you liked my reply about the clubs, but​ my posts are not showing up anymore, even though you can see them?

        So I think you’ve spam blocked me. Haha

    • Lively Life says:

      oh oh. so maybe i really did spam you away.

    • Lively Life says:

      Did I fix it or did I fix it? πŸ˜€

  52. Oh, I fully agree. Sex life is way different with age. That’s​ probably why they have clubs. Dirty stinky clubs filled with drunken hormones. Haha. I’m acting as if I’ve never been in one. Lol
    About, I know! I don’t get it. I’ve dated women from the states and not like deep south, like less than 2 hours across the kine. I have said “about” to laughing American women that apparently hear boot and lose their shit. So it’s definitely real.

  53. My account has been suspended and I’m unable to message you, but then how am I sending this? Oh, because I’m making a fib to poke run. So I’d say often, but the kind that would be cruel and embarrassing in public. You know what I mean. There are some people that lash out in humor to shield themselves from the attention that might embarrass them.

    Like if the girlfriend said something witty and cheeky and the boyfriend replies with something personal and hurtful. That’s not cool.

    I’m also of the mindset that I wouldn’t date someone too sensitive. With some of my male friends, it’s anything goes. But we understand that. It would hurt more if they didn’t say the funny thing at our expense. I’ve often been the butt of a joke and had to laugh and give credit for the delivery.

    Am I over thinking this?!? Haha

  54. What the?!?

    I totally replied and it was posted but now it’s gone after I refreshed the page just to double check…

  55. I think you fixed it. 😜

  56. I wrote back on my blog, but let’s keep this thread going. Haha.

  57. That said, I’m completely lost where the conversation was at!

  58. Lively Life says:

    Are you sure it wasn’t tucked away in your chest while in blockage mode? Was your whole account shut down? And unable to see my blog?
    My eyes are yelling at me, I must tuck them into my pillow. My eyelashes beg for the bed of my skin. I am in motion, and am in still. Feeling a fuzzy bulb prick my ozone skull. Sleep darling now, sleep for now.

  59. I don’t get your words, but I get them. Haha

  60. And what magic have you planned for the weekend?

  61. Did someone find a new boy? Why else would a girl be so busy? πŸ˜‹

    Hope all is well with you. πŸ˜‰

  62. Why did you stop blogging?

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