Life as I Know It Now

When everyone is a threat

and you only feel that you owe people.

That you have lost enough ground to make you feel you have no ground to conquor

that you have lost enough
enough to feel you have nothing to give.

That you’ve made dark in peoples lives where there wasn’t.
And you don’t feel you deserve there care

and pushing them away is the easiest thing to do because

it means you don’t have to think about it

that they aren’t around

to remind you

what you have done.

When you feel you have a burden,

when you pleased people all your life

and now you can’t

because you’re stuck

Because now you’re working not because you want to

but because you have to

because if you dont you’ll lose your kid.

Because if you dont

you can’t afford living.


Blank, you know ?
It doesn’t have a living brain to remember the last canvas you did.
It’s today; always blank, without any notion you painted yesterday all black
or ate a 549 calorie sized dessert.
It’s today, you know? Blank like you’ve never brought brush to white.
It’s just like that.