When you entered my life, I would never not know you existed. And now more then ever, I don’t ever want to know what that feels like.
And I think about you more often then what I think you think I do.
You’re a precious soul. And I feel proud of myself that I had someone like you in my life.
You are the coral people dive for. You are the gold people mine for.
You are one of my lifes highlights. And my feeling is, that, you will always be. I carry you in my heart wherever I go. Sorry if you get voodoo spins or bad visuals. You’re the light to my demise. And I don’t know if you’ll ever know that.
I stopped the car at a green light. I caught in my arms, the soccer ball in a game. I didn’t have a joint on the highway. I was up for a download. I dreamed while I was awake. I dreamed that I was awake. I stood up while the leaves fell. I let my mind bury itself alive. I put ice in a heated frying pan. I turned the oven on and left it empty. I felt dead when I was alive. I am alive and I am living dead. I am living proof.
There was a time we were on the front porch in the 2000’s of the year. There were no stars that night, they hid from us I’m sure. Out of sight, they did, they were, they were because I think they were afraid of being around so much love. And what we found, I’m sure was that we were never lost and we talked about all these things and even the cost of what it would be like to be together , together…
You start at the beginning even if it doesn’t feel like it. At the end, it will be apparent that that’s what it is. How many times do we begin in our lives? How many insecurities do we have in our pockets? How many questions do we have to ask to get the answers? Why do we need to know any of this?!
Can taste buds become deaf to their own perspective? Can eyes have no taste in fashion?
What makes our indoor senses tingle but our fingers go numb in the same room?
What makes ears hear sounds they see and smell bring directly to you, memories?
How do I feel this on what is happening and you feel it on what the future has?
Where does our individuality stop? If it’s blended into certain human qualities? Or because we are similar to these parts of our best friend?
And is it actually that we lose individuality or just connect and find it strengthens those aspects? Do we become confident on the pieces that are alike with others or do we prefer not to be the same at all , in any way?
A little bit of both may be the consensus, but I’m just someone asking all these wondermints.
I used to think and now I just don’t. I used to come up with a lot of cool ideas, bring dead flies back to life with my imagination and talk to fish in my sleep. Now I just don’t. I used to think stars were the eggs of the future and they would hatch when they would fall from their incubator space and make humans when they landed on baseball fields.
The one thing I could think of to think of now, is the difference in the last post and this one. The title is the same. But the content is different. How easy not to think what we are thinking about what we are reading.
How easy to form an idea on the title of a post. And be completely wrong. Only because we thought it.
I used to think, but sometimes it’s easier if I don’t.