The last night of 2020,
and I move my fathers chair, to
sit in front of the window
while the sun is setting its’ last in this year.
Here I stay to greet newborn 2021
with a focused smile of a wild drive.
How many hundreds of tears will I shed for this?
My eyelids could go to the Olympics in the heavy weight class. My heart is sniffles. No amount of Wednesday could make me unlove you or miss you less. I miss the living daylights out of you, your nighttime sheepish grin.
I was keyboarding my keyboard one time, and it was like she deathed or something because it stopped sounding right or left and it was like it stopped being apart of life at all and I wondered if maybe that was just me exposing myself to gained access to failure and I really wondered about that and it put me to sleep but not before I calculated my cats daily distance in catomiters.
Name your Ego.
Charles or Petunia or Randy.
It’s in all of us.
Mindful us, befriends Ego
and the mediation between
conscious and unconscious
Ego has power,
best to train it.
I had a dream about you.
we held hands under a blanket on a bus.
couldn’t even see your face that clearly,
but I knew it was you because of how I felt.
people didn’t seem to like us together.
but we didn’t care.
We didn’t care.
I was sittin’ in my grandmothers
convenience, her pink rocking chair
next to the kitchen entrance.
She’d hop off that thing
the milky second anyone needed
a toothpick. That chair faced the exact
center of the room.
She had eyes for everyone.
And would rise to greet always,
Even if it meant pulling a child off her lap
or tossing down her tea.
Never understood how it never spilled.
Heat pods in my stomach.
A flutteration of heart quivers,
to see you
even if you don’t see me.
not the only place where reality beams.