You cant keep blocking or ignoring the feelings. They can swim. You cant drown them with alcoholic ice or drugs. Numbing them doesn’t make them flee forever. You will always come back to them in some way or another if you don’t properly work through them, with them. Your freedom-to live happier, is worth it.
You can learn, but at what cost?
Is ‘ when you know you know’
the same as
‘when you know you’re going to commit, you know ‘ . ?
You don’t owe me anything
and I’m mad because you don’t.
We all have smiles to give – to ourselves and others.
I’ll package up mine nicely so that you can slowly unwrap it with your own
pressed against mine!
Unravel my tangles with your smooth and your aggression.
I struggle for it again
can you sense this?
Sweat against my cheek I can only see from Monday mornings’ light
I am calm and found right now.
I dreamed last night
and not caring to shake it loose now, I just sit with it.
Inside that dream I would like to be
but inside this life
my tools and I
can make that dream
Your being is closer, the sapphire fragrance of your inner child stands tall among the adult reeds. And my hands dribble through the adequate possibility, catching the stickiness of the long stems between my fingers.
Making sense of today, the future.
How many wrong roads have I taken ?
How many have been right?
Why do I feel they are mostly wrong,
when I know i am where i am supposed to be?
Am i not convinced
or am i just uncomfortable sitting so fragile?
What a full day.
Work wasn’t. only three hours.
but how built i made myself be,
for the start of school and a motivator for new interactive space with son.
engaged. full on.
what a fufulling day.
The way being can trap your lungs in a grin,
and it can wrangle you with greasy salvation.
This wasn’t supposed to be this way
but It’s exactly the sense i imagined.
It makes me proud that we can go home
to four walls and a dim and a quiet
and i am one of you
because of that.
How many feelings and thoughts do we fight?
Instead of just letting them rest there weary heads on our chest plate
so we can pick up our forks
when we are hungry to know.
We forget to have medicine patience.
the time it takes for
our physical to digest the new.
Does food have names so that our body can prep for it?
Do we need to get better at naming feelings so that salt makes more sense to our saliva?
I will survive to wonder.