The sun has been feeling me wonders as of late. Spring tends to be the wet and the grey so glimpses of sun I stuff into my eye backpacks and soak into my skin. I teeter on my window ledge to watch the sun rise and I sit on my back balcony when it sinks. Catch the every drop that I can. Mood food.
You feel the same things I do too, right?
And the molecules of heat saturate our moods and our skin. A bold presents its invigoration, the liveliness clamps on to belief. Everything feels better here. The lows, not even as low as months ago, are opportunities to show ourselves we are capable of the rise, to enjoy the awakened scenery. Spring doesn’t hold our hand- instead sends us on our way skipping and fresh and feeling full of life.
So rejuvenating. To be with the people that will always be in the living room of my heart. The only time I don’t remember her in my life is before I began to remember. And I will never forget her.
Would I have done something differently had I known the impact of people and other external influences? Or is the undisclosed part of life, part of what has formed the indestructible endearment?
Being around people that experienced a certain space of life with me, that learned of me through untrained observation and consistent participation, is an immeasurable cognizance.
When will you decide the enough? You have all the chances, all the ins to all the outs. This one living experience is so intrinsic and chaotic. I realize this more and more with time. And each action, each choice has a hibernating root. Each enough you choose- and when- is derivative of a connection along the way of this life. When will you decide your ‘enough?
You and I, we feel the same thing. Coated with this milky fear, this abnormal existence.
Oh our silly wisdom apprehension, touching time with knives. We are going to cut ourselves eventually, and wish we had of just played with spoons.
The world sways its dress layers and spins it’s frill
it rushes its lakeful current
and sprays shuffle side tilt.
something steady under it all.