Eventual Love

Sometimes I feel broken because Love seems something I can’t feel.
Or that I can’t seem to display it. I’m estranged to the actions. Out of Lazy? Out of fear? Protection? Oh I long to fall madly in love and want it for forever. I know it is out there, I have had it before. I had to lose it, to understand it’s value. For now, I will continue to feel my broken lovemeter.

Feels in Heat

With weathered temperature, I break down currents whelming from my insides out
the clues that can’t speak about the heart any differently.
Maybe there is denial or some type of degree of heat that we deny,
our experiences weather us with rain and snow or drought.
They all have purpose.
Maybe because I hold onto my seemingly crushed ego
from back in the day that rose my being to cold Antartica.
I won’t let go of the heat I feel,
but I will let go of my umbrella.
I would like to feel it all.

Mood Food

The sun has been feeling me wonders as of late. Spring tends to be the wet and the grey so glimpses of sun I stuff into my eye backpacks and soak into my skin. I teeter on my window ledge to watch the sun rise and I sit on my back balcony when it sinks. Catch the every drop that I can. Mood food.

Fresh Awake

And the molecules of heat saturate our moods and our skin. A bold presents its invigoration, the liveliness clamps on to belief. Everything feels better here. The lows, not even as low as months ago, are opportunities to show ourselves we are capable of the rise, to enjoy the awakened scenery. Spring doesn’t hold our hand- instead sends us on our way skipping and fresh and feeling full of life.

The Ones That Always Remain

So rejuvenating. To be with the people that will always be in the living room of my heart. The only time I don’t remember her in my life is before I began to remember. And I will never forget her.
Would I have done something differently had I known the impact of people and other external influences? Or is the undisclosed part of life, part of what has formed the indestructible endearment?
Being around people that experienced a certain space of life with me, that learned of me through untrained observation and consistent participation, is an immeasurable cognizance.

The Enough

When will you decide the enough? You have all the chances, all the ins to all the outs. This one living experience is so intrinsic and chaotic. I realize this more and more with time. And each action, each choice has a hibernating root. Each enough you choose- and when- is derivative of a connection along the way of this life. When will you decide your ‘enough?