Breeze Brings

I try to enjoy the wind as it reaches me here in the open window’d car. 
I hear the leaves talk too. 
It brings me you
and the absence settles. 

This brings me only memories and reminders that have impacted me enough, 
to be able to come to me this way.

I try to enjoy it
but I only wish you were here 

and that the breeze was not.

The Sun and I

I spent time with Sun last week. In flaming glory she relayed her weekend. My chuckles were riddled with craters of approval. If I could be as hot as her, I would do those things too!

We held a heated discussion, full of sizzling stories and depth the colour of red hot. She had to know I understood the rays of her beauty.

With not so much as a breath of effort she warmed my insides.

I respect her and her tolerance, her dry humor and the way she dances and dials.
Oh Sun, you’ve got me all hot and bothered
and I like it.

 

Return Warmth

If we discontinued our lashing out at people and slow motioned our time with our reactions, I think we’d find a lot less irritable of a person inside of us.
I get that reactions are initial. They’re quite beautiful in that respect. Your response is beautiful in just the opposite way. You DO have time.

It’s like feeding the heart celery. As you make the decisions to respond after letting yourself think, you gain the creation of a possible habit and lose 6 pounds of ego centered mud.

Half the time do we even want to respond wearing a coat of anger?
Likely not.
Shedding that will take time and practice but we’ll feel a lot lighter and have less resistance towards people around us.

 

Besides, after a situation in reacting poorly, how many times does it return to a safe, comfortable place again?

So just skip the part where you insult others and just be collected and calm to begin with. That will generate enough good loving warmth that makes wearing the damn coat severely impractical.

 

 

 

 

You Guys, a Part of my Home

Sometimes I think about you humans while I’m out. I was in Aisle 7 the other day and had the urge to just get home and write about how often I hate that I hide when I see someone I know.
I feel the comfort in my soul to know you are here. That I can come home to you and it doesn’t matter if you haven’t read all my posts to know what you can about me, but just the fact it is out there for your eyes to find.  It’s part of a success. The amount that is laid out here, it is fascinating for my heart to feel.

It makes bringing the dark and scary and wobbly personas of myself to the table (outside of WordPress), more of something I feel capable of doing.

Thanks Cyber Room. For helping to make the other rooms of my house be filled with more me.
Thank you.

 

There’s Truth Under the Truth

i am sorry i was the one to disturb you
to wake the giant.
i wish it was someone else
and instead, that i was the one to help you become better.

when you learn from this what you will, i will wish not that it never happened for you, but that it was someone else, that it was never me that placed it upon you, but someone else.
for if you haven’t already, you will learn something greater than what you can imagine.
you will be better than you ever have been.

but in the realistic deeper tongue of Truth that I begin to practice,

if i was never the one to make you reach your worst,
i wouldn’t have ever made it to my present best.

In developing this action of looking for honest,

I find myself okay with it being me that crushed your ego and broke your heart.


I accept it because in not doing so, I avoid and deny and ignore the truth of what happened.
If I want to live truthfully, I must accept the truth.

I accept that I broke your heart.
and I am comforted with my belief that eventually, 

 


you too, will reach your best.

Let me Hear Your Insides

When you bite your tongue
a heart corner of mine
flutters upwards.

I need you to speak your insides.
All the minutes
of any second.
Even if scary and dark,
even if you know it will hurt me.

When your tongue is bitten
you only ever stay where your words are.
Inside.

I need you outside-

to see and hear and feel your insides
on the outside.

Then you’ll know that
your whole being
is being loved.

And not just your representative.

World

The World ran away from me one day.
I was out eating a pear under a tree
and it just clapped shut and took itself.
I didn’t have my pear but I still had my mind
and I thought to it,
it is impossible for the World to steal
It owns everything, It is everything.
People steal from people,
we rob ourselves of seeing beauty
but the World doesn’t take anything from us.
It gives pears and trees, and grounds to sit on.

and for that,
I’ll give World me.

I’ll stand Worlds’ ground
and give It me.