Eventual Love

Sometimes I feel broken because Love seems something I can’t feel.
Or that I can’t seem to display it. I’m estranged to the actions. Out of Lazy? Out of fear? Protection? Oh I long to fall madly in love and want it for forever. I know it is out there, I have had it before. I had to lose it, to understand it’s value. For now, I will continue to feel my broken lovemeter.

Feels in Heat

With weathered temperature, I break down currents whelming from my insides out
the clues that can’t speak about the heart any differently.
Maybe there is denial or some type of degree of heat that we deny,
our experiences weather us with rain and snow or drought.
They all have purpose.
Maybe because I hold onto my seemingly crushed ego
from back in the day that rose my being to cold Antartica.
I won’t let go of the heat I feel,
but I will let go of my umbrella.
I would like to feel it all.

Mood Food

The sun has been feeling me wonders as of late. Spring tends to be the wet and the grey so glimpses of sun I stuff into my eye backpacks and soak into my skin. I teeter on my window ledge to watch the sun rise and I sit on my back balcony when it sinks. Catch the every drop that I can. Mood food.

Fresh Awake

And the molecules of heat saturate our moods and our skin. A bold presents its invigoration, the liveliness clamps on to belief. Everything feels better here. The lows, not even as low as months ago, are opportunities to show ourselves we are capable of the rise, to enjoy the awakened scenery. Spring doesn’t hold our hand- instead sends us on our way skipping and fresh and feeling full of life.

Undetermined Truth

The splatter of confliction and confusion,
lines in layers
on her face.
Excitement and trepidation,
smuggle their way into the
bloodstream that carries her to bed.

Are these feelings misrepresenting
the facts?

She applies a resistance,
coated in steel warmth.
Takes the delight on a date,
entertaining alone
the origin of the undetermined truth.

Reversing Habits

In order to live life good, goes it have to be difficult?
When you are coming from years of a bad habit, to work against it on a constant basis, that’s not easy.
And ongoing after ongoing, it just feels like life is just this. Striving to rid yourself of something you accepted.
Oh but all the things to know beyond this place. All the things to learn about myself beyond where I am now. Is that the dig dug down fuel? Is that what I believe in?

Emerald Grip

The bite in your emerald mercy gives me an unprecedented currency of hope. And I don’t even like hope. It’s like stale pottery. It’s like trying to decline aging. 

The grip of urgency is at my numb fingertips. Just to pull myself closer to hear my breath smatter up against the brick wall I’ve banged my head upon for too long. 

Sense cannot be knocked into you like that. I promise. 

You whisper icicle thoughts that melt and drop deep into the caverns of my chambers. I don’t intend to lose myself looking for them. I have already lost myself with you time and time again.

But why the curious in what my heart pulls me towards? It’s me. Confusion can be handled wrapped in soft egg white fabric, and your emerald of reach is beautiful. 

Admit the Affect

Im starting to admit how much the last two years has impacted me. i believe i was denying it because i wanted to have risen above it, shrug it off like i was impervious to it.

i think the greater power lies in being honest with oneself.

either the way, the affects will take place and when that is more so accepted and understood, the better starting point you have with dealing with it .