You cant keep blocking or ignoring the feelings. They can swim. You cant drown them with alcoholic ice or drugs. Numbing them doesn’t make them flee forever. You will always come back to them in some way or another if you don’t properly work through them, with them. Your freedom-to live happier, is worth it.
We all have smiles to give – to ourselves and others.
I’ll package up mine nicely so that you can slowly unwrap it with your own
pressed against mine!
Unravel my tangles with your smooth and your aggression.
I struggle for it again
can you sense this?
How many wrong roads have I taken ?
How many have been right?
Why do I feel they are mostly wrong,
when I know i am where i am supposed to be?
Am i not convinced
or am i just uncomfortable sitting so fragile?
Feelings are real.
but they don’t have to control your life.
Awgust blooms it’s way onto the platform.
a different approach is taken.
i don’t dance yet,
my mind is stabilizing still.
trickles of frustration and anger
i let them.
I am not afraid of what I feel
i am shifting control to me.
and Awgust will be my platform
on which to do so.
If I broke the bubbles in the bath with a sledgehammer , I thought myself a murderer.
When I break my own heart, I feel like a loser in the gutters of East Toronto.
What is the difference between smashing up other peoples lives
instead of your own?
What makes guilt fight conscience?
What makes you live so poorly
so intentionally unpotentially?
You know there is more out there for you
then sucking bubbles down your throat trying to drown your sorrows,
as if air could do that anyways.
The sun is just around the curve;
whispering this to you,
Back lit and caressing all that is seen,
with a strong subtlety
of grey purple.
The world is still quiet here
pyjama shuffling slipper feet,
and I smile.
Today is choices and availability
to do and to be purposeful,
just the way
The Grey Purple of the Sky-
the chance at another Day,
tells me to be.
Like cat or baby
sitting on our lap,
and how often we have to pee
or grab the kettle
but we share that moment with our heart and our head
and we sit still.
We don’t get up
because to disturb the beauty
would be oh so unsatisfying.
do you ever feel crazy?
Like you’re a living condition
of clear and of dizzy?
You’re that walking Motherboard
of all your own thoughts and service
and that you aren’t always living
with what you’d call purpose.
Drifting in the luxuries of ignorance and time
a royal game of powder glam
and you’re just in the corner
making strawberry jam.
What a wild we are.
my heart parts all wisdom whacked.
how in this world
are we supposed to be apart?
how in any other
are we not to survive ?