And I really do wonder about it. And before I google or youtube or roosterdock it,
I like to get my thoughts out and in order and figured and oh, who am i kidding. They don’t get figured out.
well, age. And drinking. I’m almost 27 and I drink daily and well, I just wonder if that’s what it’s like for the rest of the almost 27 year old family. Well. any few years above or below that. Oh. That sounds like I’m beliddling the low. But I’m not. I assure you.
In this generation, do we, are we.. like this?
Is it the year of the drink and the year of this is what makes us happy and what all the people around us are doing so we do it. and sometimes it goes beyond a night out but during the day and by day i mean morning. Is this what it is like? Does it stop? Is it a worrysome feature in our life? Or is it a clickerton. Where you hit 30 and BAM you’re off the rocks and vod and Monday morning doesn’t mean a ceaser with your bacon. Is THAT what happens?
Well, I don’t know. I know that I drink a lot. But I’m not afraid of it. Maybe I should be. I know it means I have some issues I’m not dealing with. Somedays I think, okay, my mind should really be clear for all of this. To think of stop drinking altogether. But then I think why.
I drink instead of eat and maintain a good weight because of it. So you know, that’s a nice.
I’ve never been overweight and maybe at this age, this is my diet. And it works decently enough.
Or maybe I’m just drunk and I have no idea what I’m talking about.
thoughts and sayings, come from SOMEWHERE. ALL the time. It doesn’t matter how absurd it seems. Everything
comes from somewhere.
Even what you’re thinking about as you read this.
You drunk soul you.
You go to a five stages,three day camping festival event and you come back feeling like you were on a euphoric emotional high two of the three days and you understand that it’s been 5 years since you’ve been around that many English speaking people at once and that it is your first time you have ever even experienced bands and people and closeness the way that you did.
You see the tents come down and the piles of garbage bags and the dust from the cars driving out.
You arrive home and you play a song from the CD you bought of one of the bands you saw-one of the members of that band you went to public school with and whose mother taught you in grade 6.
And you cry.
It’s not a drop of the system. It’s not happy slid into a hole of sad. It’s an overwhelming mixture of memories and time and realization. That you just experienced all that. And the photos run your heart wild and before you fully understand,you’re craving to do more of things like this.
You can have lived on the other side of the world for years, visited multiple countries and drove through 90% of the states in America; but when your travel bug has gone mute, it is mere evidence that something will take it’s place.
Maybe you won’t figure what’s supposed to fill it up right away. But something will.
It might click when you’re dancing in a great furious next to a girl that you met 12 hours ago, or when you’re in a group of 7, having lost the three people you knew. It might click when you get home and your heart yearns to do it all over again.
To start an addiction of something new, because of a space that held something old.
Oh, that is a marvelous life particle to have obtained!
Saturated soul, you beam dance into the skys of my eyes and blast full lipped gloss onto my tongue.
You converse with me in the weave of the tree leaves and you let me bend; because I told you I was broke.
I land in shoulder length bloom of dark and of light. I shuttle up the burrows of my grim appearance and as my appetite wanes and grows, the motion of my brainheart does too.
I am not exhausted enough to let my thoughts convince me my future is no place for me to be.
Saturated soul, you whisper into my hands and brush my cheeks with blush.
I will continue.
After my first 6 months in Thailand, I came back for a visit and felt the gap between every single person I was friends with prior to the leave.
Noone understood what I experienced, no one could relate and most of all, no one really asked.
It made going back to Thailand, easier.
Now I come back and realize the daily routines of people, the regular lives, is what I long for. The simple. The past. The things I was so far from six years ago, are now the ways I crave. I want to be around stability. I am far removed from Thailand and I don’t even really care to talk about it. It is off of my list of conversation.
Oh how time and experience does everything.