Admit the Affect

Im starting to admit how much the last two years has impacted me. i believe i was denying it because i wanted to have risen above it, shrug it off like i was impervious to it.

i think the greater power lies in being honest with oneself.

either the way, the affects will take place and when that is more so accepted and understood, the better starting point you have with dealing with it .

Disorient

My tummys’ got avocado grass
and applejuice skies
with clouds of gin.

My minds’ got fog
a bench long worn down
and a game I can’t win.

If you’re not a betting person
why you bet on this-
my sick disorientation.

The weather will change
wind, rain, snow and sun,

all inside this creation.

Sick Differences

When you are isolating and your dad asks if you need anything and you send him a list and he gets you everything exactly on it.

Your mom asks what you need and you send her your list and she gets everything exactly on itβ€” plus heart cubed iced trays, apple juice in an apple shaped carton, extra pillow cases, picture frame with a picture of socks inside it and a new outfit for our cat. and more.

My parents love me.

just the very same. 😌

Carnival

Wird press this
I appreciate you wanting to get to know how it goes –
that carnival in my brain.
But you can only eat so much cotton candy in one day.
You’ll read this again,
and you’ll be frustrated again
I’m like a train that has the caboose on the other end of yours.

Keep running after your sandwich,
you won’t get enough of the cheese
until you do.

And then you’ll be sick
for quite awhile.

It’s okay dear,
only the strong mess around with my carnival.

Which Way?

Sometimes the idea that there are 18 different avenues you could start walking down, makes you stand still. Overwhelmed frozen footsteps. Specially if you’re not comfortable with where you are at in life. You took those roads in the past and if you find the street you’re on presently, is too dim lit and stinks like garbage and cat pee, you’re not going to want to trust yourself in forward movement. Whether its this way or that way.

Lovey Ow

Life is so large.

And sometimes its overwhelming to live it.

it hurts. its uncomfortable. its incredible. Its beautiful. its raw. its real. it makes us throw up.

and we only ever have ourselves to blame.

Electric

The Christmas spirit sure drives moving anchors. Im grounded but I am growing. Time will fall out of its cabin, like I will crawl from my cocoon. i am not waiting for anything to click, i am just choosing celery over poptarts on a regular basis. i must instill patience. Even popcorn takes two minutes to become its edible cloud puff.
Internal electric does its course and i can be the source of forward moment. I just have to be best friends with Time .