Race Track

The deep pitted ‘if I was avocado sugar feeling, racing around my blood track. Apprehensive little race car cells, being all cute and energetic. Is it better not to brace for impact? And better to embrace the nature of it? There’s beauty in the after affects but holy nugget there’s an oil tank of fear too. Why? Well. Car can’t go vroom without oil, right?

Internal Peace

I used to surrender to the power of the love for other people, instead of loving myself.
My relationships not lasting because I had no internal peace. Nobody was ever going to be enough in my eyes because I consistently and constantly required more then what any human could give. Internal peace. I am not good for anyone if i am not good for self . If I am my own toxic habit, I will only spill that on the jeans of my partner and no matter how many times you wash, that stain doesn’t come out.

Mind Fluff

I drove to just sit on a back road somewhere outside of town. Different space under my car wheels has the wheels in my head spin differently.

If its your own horn why wouldn’t you toot it?

Do you ever get overwhelmed by your childs’ spine?

What a difference between people that set down their coffee to answer the door and people who bring it with them.

What a raw, beautiful process of development. Curing with time, having the resemblance of loose unconscious patience. We can wait, because we know it will be.

Concrete Towers

War’d weathered feet, come stomping sideways up the green cliffs.
We didn’t think to find the solemn giggles here.
The cave puffs’ it’s ignorance, so shallow in the cove.
The flighted breath under canopy , from clouds to the throne.
Sweet dragon roll momentum, the blue plate something to peer for.
Royalist ground pepper fits underneath the sticks; so humble to be tuned.
Dialed with crumb fingers and dry mouth, the worth beaming from concrete towers.

Weather Woman

Thoughts are clogging up my brain chamber. And this is different then feelings pecking away at my heart strings. I am thinking critically and independently and finding solitude to soften and sooth as soon as it hits the back of my throat. My tin of tea has never been so empty.
It is coming together and because I know this, the mass of mind clouds in my noggin’ are okay to be there. The forecast ahead is the future I am wanting to be in and under. And beside myself I will be happy to be, because I have located a serenity within.

I begin building with my Weatherwoman tools.

Technical

I
will always remember you.

When you entered my life,
I would never not know you existed.
And now more then ever,
I don’t ever want to know what that feels like.

And I think about you
more often then what I think you think I do.

You’re a precious soul.
And I feel proud of myself
that I had someone like you in my life.

You are the coral people dive for.
You are the gold people mine for.

You are
one of my lifes highlights.
And my feeling is,
that,
you will always be.
I carry you in my heart wherever I go.
Sorry if you get voodoo spins or bad visuals.
You’re the light
to my demise.
And I don’t know if
you’ll ever know that.

Wisdom Chews

My hair smells like bacon
and my ice has turned to water.
I’m fishing in my mind for a bite,
but all I can feel is that the sun is getting hotter.

And get this,
it is night.

My pants are all getting tighter on me,
wish my grip on life was.

I’ll get out of this.

And I will not run with it,
I will walk it into it’s place.

I will run with freedom.
And I will carry nothing but
my own weight.

There are comedians,
are there life analysts that joke about the mundane and the reality of life?

Or
are those two the same things?

I’ll be fine.
I know I am.
Sometimes I create the tornado so that I can spin out of it
clear headed.
As if all the cobwebs and gunk,
spun in control
to my own spin.

And then I ballarina away
on my tippy toes.

I’m closer to the sky that way
don’tchuu know?



What Would It Now

There was a time we were on the front porch
in the 2000’s of the year.
There were no stars that night,
they hid from us I’m sure.
Out of sight, they did, they were, they were
because I think
they were afraid of being around so much love.
And what we found, I’m sure
was that we were never lost
and we talked about all these things and even
the cost
of what it would be like
to be together , together…

Silhouetted You

I picture sunlight that hasn’t hit horizon yet to be able to call it setting but in the sky, bright and small, not big and hot, but glowing and warm and nice.

the sky not black. not bright blue sky. not cheesy sunset orange either. but this faded, darker yellow. warmth… with depth.

Warmpth.

And i picture you half-silhouetted, half blurry, half in frame of the polaroid being taken, half out, but smiling huuuuuuge.

You may be something different to me then what you really are. But you’re still real. To me.