Sometimes dramatic thoughts and not thinking about the realistically or literally or common sensically, way, is fun. It’d endearing to my own self. I believe in it . For the fun. For the youthfulness. And standing on that once upon a time wizard feel, is a fantastic. I feel the confidence that comes with being proud. that’s easy to feel when you have the audience praise popping around the stage of life you’re making. And when you don’t , when you find that the spark’s been sucked up, or you cant light wet ash, you create the fire,you become the rest of the part you stumbled with. In growing older, you question whether you are being the so young so too much and you wonder about the crowd u want to attract. And once you realize the place you want to exist in for yourself, you can love that you can know the power in the relationship you make with who you are.
The deep pitted ‘if I was avocado sugar feeling, racing around my blood track. Apprehensive little race car cells, being all cute and energetic. Is it better not to brace for impact? And better to embrace the nature of it? There’s beauty in the after affects but holy nugget there’s an oil tank of fear too. Why? Well. Car can’t go vroom without oil, right?
I used to surrender to the power of the love for other people, instead of loving myself. My relationships not lasting because I had no internal peace. Nobody was ever going to be enough in my eyes because I consistently and constantly required more then what any human could give. Internal peace. I am not good for anyone if i am not good for self . If I am my own toxic habit, I will only spill that on the jeans of my partner and no matter how many times you wash, that stain doesn’t come out.
War’d weathered feet, come stomping sideways up the green cliffs. We didn’t think to find the solemn giggles here. The cave puffs’ it’s ignorance, so shallow in the cove. The flighted breath under canopy , from clouds to the throne. Sweet dragon roll momentum, the blue plate something to peer for. Royalist ground pepper fits underneath the sticks; so humble to be tuned. Dialed with crumb fingers and dry mouth, the worth beaming from concrete towers.
Thoughts are clogging up my brain chamber. And this is different then feelings pecking away at my heart strings. I am thinking critically and independently and finding solitude to soften and sooth as soon as it hits the back of my throat. My tin of tea has never been so empty. It is coming together and because I know this, the mass of mind clouds in my noggin’ are okay to be there. The forecast ahead is the future I am wanting to be in and under. And beside myself I will be happy to be, because I have located a serenity within.