The deep pitted ‘if I was avocado sugar feeling, racing around my blood track. Apprehensive little race car cells, being all cute and energetic. Is it better not to brace for impact? And better to embrace the nature of it? There’s beauty in the after affects but holy nugget there’s an oil tank of fear too. Why? Well. Car can’t go vroom without oil, right?
I want to make it right.
Will you let me ?
Will you think the same right as me?
Or will I be left dumbfounded.
I used to surrender to the power of the love for other people, instead of loving myself.
My relationships not lasting because I had no internal peace. Nobody was ever going to be enough in my eyes because I consistently and constantly required more then what any human could give. Internal peace. I am not good for anyone if i am not good for self . If I am my own toxic habit, I will only spill that on the jeans of my partner and no matter how many times you wash, that stain doesn’t come out.
And so it is, with anyone in our lives that stay awhile and go, take something- even if so minuscule. And sometimes when we love them- or even if we don’t- we can hope they took the good. And even if they took the bad, that they will somehow do good with it- if even it is only to understand it.
To be better, having stayed awhile in our life.
The way you like it like this,
but can’t say the words.
The way it’ll throw you off course
You Tell me that at Least.
while your back against the plaid
that you gave me
How many years ago now?
Time trickles through the system
and we absorb and believe
that One Day,
we will tell it truly,
How we Like it.
And the Course,
will forever be Changed.
When I have a heavy heart
I don’t feel fat or off the scale.
I feel my blood veins disjointed
And dragon sadness of a tail.
A heart with weight,
can also mean pure and full
Like explosion works of fire,
that create the half that makes the whole.
And if my heart is solid,
like that soulfire around your way,
I know we will be complete
before we start our stay.
We choose how we love.
Guided, premeditated, on a whim.
Loving is the most fun
Learning how to-
better and stronger.
We love ourselves more,
when we love greater.
War’d weathered feet, come stomping sideways up the green cliffs.
We didn’t think to find the solemn giggles here.
The cave puffs’ it’s ignorance, so shallow in the cove.
The flighted breath under canopy , from clouds to the throne.
Sweet dragon roll momentum, the blue plate something to peer for.
Royalist ground pepper fits underneath the sticks; so humble to be tuned.
Dialed with crumb fingers and dry mouth, the worth beaming from concrete towers.
will always remember you.
When you entered my life,
I would never not know you existed.
And now more then ever,
I don’t ever want to know what that feels like.
And I think about you
more often then what I think you think I do.
You’re a precious soul.
And I feel proud of myself
that I had someone like you in my life.
You are the coral people dive for.
You are the gold people mine for.
one of my lifes highlights.
And my feeling is,
you will always be.
I carry you in my heart wherever I go.
Sorry if you get voodoo spins or bad visuals.
You’re the light
to my demise.
And I don’t know if
you’ll ever know that.
There was a time we were on the front porch
in the 2000’s of the year.
There were no stars that night,
they hid from us I’m sure.
Out of sight, they did, they were, they were
because I think
they were afraid of being around so much love.
And what we found, I’m sure
was that we were never lost
and we talked about all these things and even
of what it would be like
to be together , together…