You are the soulstice to my ever glowing nature. The soulutions I find in my everyday. Your soulfullness resonates in my bones, that warm laundrified fuzzy blanket against bone skin. How soulganic we are in our soulitude. You soulidify so much purpose in my being, that soulving kind of souldier, dedicated not to beat the problems, but to make them understood. The absoulute of my breath, the consoulable feature of all teddy bear grub. My resoulationial feats when I get stuck in mind mud. I’d stay in isoulation with you, fuel ourselves with our gasouline and live in the factual heat. That all of this means you are my soul mate.
Your being is closer, the sapphire fragrance of your inner child stands tall among the adult reeds. And my hands dribble through the adequate possibility, catching the stickiness of the long stems between my fingers. Making sense of today, the future.
War’d weathered feet, come stomping sideways up the green cliffs. We didn’t think to find the solemn giggles here. The cave puffs’ it’s ignorance, so shallow in the cove. The flighted breath under canopy , from clouds to the throne. Sweet dragon roll momentum, the blue plate something to peer for. Royalist ground pepper fits underneath the sticks; so humble to be tuned. Dialed with crumb fingers and dry mouth, the worth beaming from concrete towers.
When you entered my life, I would never not know you existed. And now more then ever, I don’t ever want to know what that feels like.
And I think about you more often then what I think you think I do.
You’re a precious soul. And I feel proud of myself that I had someone like you in my life.
You are the coral people dive for. You are the gold people mine for.
You are one of my lifes highlights. And my feeling is, that, you will always be. I carry you in my heart wherever I go. Sorry if you get voodoo spins or bad visuals. You’re the light to my demise. And I don’t know if you’ll ever know that.
There was a time we were on the front porch in the 2000’s of the year. There were no stars that night, they hid from us I’m sure. Out of sight, they did, they were, they were because I think they were afraid of being around so much love. And what we found, I’m sure was that we were never lost and we talked about all these things and even the cost of what it would be like to be together , together…
I used to think you just pretended not to know, but now I know you really don’t know. I thought you acted dumb so you could get more out of people. But now I know. You have a brain of a really really smart dinosaur.
How easy it is to talk about what is needed in a relationship.
How easy it is to think about all the ways you will be in one. How great and connective and communicative you will be.
You know how good you would be.
Understanding, slow to respond, listen attentively. So many qualities you have for a relationship!
And then you get in one.
And you are not at all what you want to be.
You recognize the selfish parts of you. You’re far too distant and lacking.
How is this so?
How difficult it is to be consistent with a behaviour that is not yet a habit.
How difficult to make it natural, to push yourself to be comfortable with discomfort.
How uneasy to have those conversations that are needed.