Actions

In Thailand a few months before the end, i would have a few drinks right after it hit noon.
As if that justified having them so early.
Each time I come back to Canada to visit, I would go out a lot drinking with friends.
My mom sees me having a few drinks now, and gets worried that I’ll  fall into that drink groove.
I understand her concerns. I really do.

Sure a lot of this could be coping?
I guess we will find out a few months from now.

I do still feel pretty young sometimes. Like I’ve not matured or grown up fully. Well I know I haven’t.
When you’re doing the things you used to do five years ago?

Actions may come from a dark but meaningfu place, but
it’s difficult to launch out when you’re actions are what’s keeping you In.

Some Crumbs JustIn

I awoke at four this morning and turned like a tossed salad till six fifteen.
My eyes felt wooden and balloony all together.

My zipper on my shorts is down. It’s just down. It always falls down. So I just wear them like this. You can’t see anything. And I wonder if a famous person wore pants with the zip undone, if people would start doing it.

I watched this live thingy, where teen girls were shown pictures of Justin biebers ‘newest’ tattoo. Not really his tattos and they were ridiculously awful tattoos. Or they were told bad things about him. Like he had ran over an old lady because she was too slow crossing the street. And they said, ‘yeah. That’s ok. Because he’s Justin Bieber. And he probably had to get somewhere fast.’ Anything to justify his actions. Even if it was just ” he’s Justin Bieber,.”
Something seems a little wrong with that but. What do you do. Guess in my case, I just make sure my baby dude doesn’t turn out like that. Beebs or the ‘justificators’ .