I am so confused.
And it all makes sense. Then I am confused, because I am not.
I swear, 20 minutes after I posted The End. you CALLED.
And you were on your way OVER.
You asked if it was okay.
I am startled, dreaming, sleeping, AWAKE
I say yes.
I feel defeated but so happy to hold you. I feel lost, but so center to me.
I’m embarressed to write this post, but I’m unfolding my life.
I don’t even know what all to feel. How long do I keep this up?
When will you let go of me and I let go of you? Is it a when or an if we do?
My heart still wants you and my head is trying to be smart. You make it easy for my heart to win and I know this because my heart isn’t trying.
Wrenched in two directions once again, and each time I try and see something different. The pain is a bit less, the drive to be better a bit more, the ridiculousness absurdified ten fold.
It's really quite note-worthy of how awake one can be one
morning and how
absolutly not, another.
I fine tuned a song on my guitar and cut branches that were
hiding the garbage can outside. I spent an hour perfecting
an email, did the sink of dishes, dusted things up high
and had the urge to swim in the pool.
All before 8:30 am.
My creative juices do flow.
I may as well don a cap of slothery and climb into a bed of lazy leaves.
Two upbeat days in a row?
Sheesh, who am I kidding but myself.
But I do kid myself because I am more of one then a sloth. At least for now.
And longterm I do thank my pops for that one.
And shorterm I just look at Life in the eyes and smile,
knowing that from it, I get everything I have.
I get the happiness that gives me the energy to do what I do in the morning.