What the Loopin’ Fruit

I am so confused.
And it all makes sense.
Then I am confused,
because I am not.

I swear, 20 minutes after I posted The End. you CALLED.
And you were on your way OVER.
You asked if it was okay.
I am startled, dreaming, sleeping, AWAKE
I say yes.

I feel defeated but so happy to hold you. I feel lost, but so center to me.
I’m embarressed to write this post, but I’m unfolding my life.
I don’t even know what all to feel. How long do I keep this up?
When will you let go of me and I let go of you? Is it a when or an if we do?

My heart still wants you and my head is trying to be smart.
You make it easy for my heart to win and I know this because my heart isn’t trying. 

Wrenched in two directions once again, and each time I try and see something different. The pain is a bit less, the drive to be better a bit more, the ridiculousness absurdified ten fold.

 

It is so so so difficult to say no to you, to us.

 

 

 

Morning Dribble

My eyes are crusted with lifes’ sleep.

It’s like life is a pizza and the crust, well, that’s a given on any one. Except crust isn’t on TOP of the pizza, it’s on the edge.

These crusts are on the edge of my eye bulbs and when I wipe them clear, I’ll probably be able to see what I’ve just typed.

Morning Energy

It's really quite note-worthy of how awake one can be one 
morning and how 
absolutly not, another. 
I fine tuned a song on my guitar and cut branches that were
 hiding the garbage can outside. I spent an hour perfecting
 an email, did the sink of dishes, dusted things up high
 and had the urge to swim in the pool.
 All before 8:30 am.
My creative juices do flow. 
Today.
But tommorrow? 
I may as well don a cap of slothery and climb into a bed of lazy leaves. 
Two upbeat days in a row? 
Sheesh, who am I kidding but myself.
But I do kid myself because I am more of one then a sloth. At least for now.
 And longterm I do thank my pops for that one. 
And shorterm I just look at Life in the eyes and smile, 
knowing that from it, I get everything I have.
 I get the happiness that gives me the energy to do what I do in the morning.