We Are All Just Learning

I think sometimes we forget that we actually have to learn stuff.

That we aren’t born with all these adequate features that make living seem like something we’ve done a hundred times over.

 

No. We have to learn behaviours, methods and techniques.We go through trial and error and gain knowledge by failure.

All of THAT, all of the above, takes TIME. It’s called Experience and sometimes it takes 4 of the same mistakes to get it right.

And thats okay.

As long as we are always trying to improve, we can’t be so hard on ourselves or each other. If we don’t embrace the times we mess up, we end up carrying around a whackload of weight that we haven’t learned anything from.

And what good are tomatoe seeds in our pocket, if we don’t know how to put them in the earth and grow them.
What good is weight, when we have the ability to soar.

Learn to learn,
and you’ll be yearning to learn more. 

 

 

On You

Float it on the outside. Wrap it securely and keep yourself in check. Make moments to be aware so that you can always self improve. And be open to many subjects but have opinions and stand your ground. Have sand sift through your fingers. You don’t have to look but feel for diamonds. And hold onto those gems. Whether it’s people, ideas, or thoughts
-and float them on the outside.

Lack of Awarity

I’m not as observant as I was.
I’m severely realizing this with being out of the house so much lately. Things people tell me that I’m not storing or I don’t notice.

It’s because I unfocused myself while in Thailand. Everything was a background to my mentality. Peoples conversations were blurred clumps of sound.

I stopped feeling connected with that country long ago; I unplugged myself from it. To stop learning the language. To stop conversing.

And I can feel that disconnect running through my veins here.

I will get better. I will train myself to grasp the small realities going on around me.
For that is a piece of me I lost that I am capable of recreating.

Are Some of Your Outlets Suffering?

There’s been little time for stillity in the brain. I’ve been going and going for days now and I can feel myself trying to climb out, needing the air to breathe sense into my head.
Afterall, three weeks prior to this, I had that stillness every single day.
Somehow, in all of this whirring, I have gathered bits and pieces of moments, of people and most importatly, myself.

One of the things I have learned about myself this past week is how I have put much emphasis on writing since I knew what it felt like to do so.
I know it feels good to get it out this way but I wonder if other outlets have suffered.
It has not affected the ‘how’ I socialize, but the ‘what’. The ‘what’ I have talked about all these years.
It almost feels like an avoidance…that writing out serious matters justifies my lack of serious face to face matters. And in depth conversation makes for deeper relationships.
So have my relationships suffered as well?

Now that I am aware of this, I will attempt to talk about what I have written.
This post included.
Because this too, makes a difference.

Making Good from ‘ Bad ‘

I write differently to different people because everyone is different and people need to hear things differently or read them written that way instead of the other way and each way makes you pick up snatches that aren’t the same.
People make me figure stuff out about myself.
I only have my own self reflection here in Thailand so going to Canada and being exposed to mirrors that talk back is incredible. It makes me feel more like a person instead of a shell and it is scary to think that I may think of myself as a shell in Thailand and only that. But there is so much to feel in Canada. So much to give and so much to take and I have to stay sensible and realize that it is only because my time has been limited each and everytime I have went back,for the past four years. It affects these things so much so, that breaking down isn’t so much of a surprise. Because these are the life sized things. For me. These are the things that pinch my heart and stagger my thoughts and wind my ideas so that they go walking across the carpets on missions to unknown destinations.
That is me dealing.
There are always many tears when I say goodbye in Canada and I am always trying my best not to drown in them. Being conscious of it. It is good to feel that way even though it is hurting.
If I felt none of this, could I really sense the better in the good? If I had nothing to compare. Nothing extreme to relate it to, then the good wouldn’t be so good and the value would be non-existent.

Being Better People

I think sometimes we just need to stop.

Everything that we’re doing.Except living.
And use that to figure out how we’re living our life.
Sometimes it takes an arguement, an eye opener.. sometimes it takes death..
for us to really see the things we’re doing wrong in life.
Maybe if we made the conscious decision to check in every once in awhile with self, we wouldn’t need those occurances.

We all lose sight every once and awhile. We all get so hooked up on our routines that we become blinded and unaware of our reactions. We make the same ones even though they are negative and dreary.

I think that living a happy and good life is a choice. And after years of doing the same thing and being around the same stuff, it is difficult to break free of the mold we’ve created for self. So deciding to live a better life is a conscious choice that needs nurturing.

I hope that we can be more aware of our actions and what we say.
I hope that we can become better and nicer people by being positive and being less negative towards people and self.
After awhile, the conscious effort we put into making ourselves better people, will become somebody we are.And that is truly someone we should consider being.

The Thawing Pieces of Your Life

There’s frozen gumps of plaster in all our lives. It’s just thawing out and every once in awhile we get the drips. We feel the melt.
These arrive in forms of Arguements, Sarcasim, Jokes, and Oblivion.

The people in our lives are affected and are often the ones producing the warmth that begin the melt. Others enter during the process and fuel it.

But there is always us involved. We are the table on which the gumps sit. We provide the platform and sometimes even the tools that make thawing possible.

We are not always going to be solid through and through. We all have our soft spots and weak joints and we are not always going to be good at hiding them.
Either way we are responsible to collect the drips and bring them to the involved individuals in order to make the transition of solid to liquid easier.

To prevent the mess.

All in all, talk about those melting pieces, and talk about the melted. Talk about the whole, talk about the existence of what is happening.
If we recognize what parts drip faster, perhaps we can determine the reason why.
If we can distinguish the reason, in the end the affect of the liquid won’t be something we drown in, but something we can swim through with ease.

Take your thawing to a new level.

How we Could Be

i think sometimes we underestimate the power of a smile. i think
sometimes we know that we should of smiled.

i think there are a lot of things we do and do not do,
things that irritate us when others do them or dont do.
we do them unknowenly.
this is because we are people.

we should probably hold more doors open and ask more questions.
we should learn to listen better too.because we all know thats partly
how people determine your care.
we should give out more compliments.
we know how they make us feel.

when it comes to our parents,we can always be nicer to them.we can
always be more present with them, our siblings and our relatives.
i think our patience and our understanding could use a little
maintence work every once in awhile-so that we are able to stretch
further and become more tolerable.

we need to learn how to turn to our inner core and get loose in
situations.  to not be so rigid and unbendable. To adapt with good heart.
we need to let others reach us, to connect and relate.
we ought to be more aware and in tune with their struggles; even our
own. to become more knowledgable with people and how they work.
communication is an art able to be bettered.

we should try and be more expressive with how we feel towards others,
towards ourselves. really knowing who we are as an individual is the
biggest part in living a full life. but this is a never ending task.
it is something we should take the paperwork for-everywhere we go.

i think we should take more time to colour in colouring books and play
hide and seek. i think we should climb more trees. To exercise more
often. we should probably eat slower and eat less to.
we could try and figure out the things that make us feel better about
ourselves, and actively do more of that.we could consciously reward
ourselves for the accomplishments we achieve too.
things should probably be more in moderation in our life than they
are.
but not smiles.
smiles are best left unlimited. smiles are like
what water is to trees. smiles soak into peoples souls as it does into
the ground. roots suck up this liquid treat like people suck up the
smirks and the grins. no matter the soil, skin colour or disablility,
water and smiles sow seeds of happiness. where the leaves fall, where
the smiles land, new beauty and new energy are sure to grow.
so within all these things we could do, let a smile be the permenent
backdrop, let it be behind everything we do. if we need to focus on it
and nothing else, do so. it is repetition that will make these
actions ones we don’t think twice about.
it will become our bark and our branches. apart of us in every way.