Was I? And The Affects

Can I/Could I have really been/really be considered an alcoholic if I haven’t had a drop in a week straight?  Just like that?
Hmmm….

Here are some affects I’ve noticed.
Like I mention in this post:5 days In with a Belly

I’ve eaten about 6000 M&Ms and the like.
But the major and the bestest is : my mind feels a lot clearer. I feel more like myself with more upbeat thoughts and when I do have weigh me down thoughts, I grab a bag of chips, yes, but I also don’t just immediatly think death.
I am forcing myself to think positive future forward thoughts.

And it’s kinda working. So that’s..
well,
kinda cool.

Stop Myself

I’m guzzling down soda water as if it’s gonna fill me up with helium and float me off to EvertheNever Land.

Truth is,
I’m in the beginning process of trying to stop drinking booze.

Truth is,
I don’t normally tell people what my plan is;whether it’s to lose five pounds, to spend  100 bucks a month on clothing instead of 300 or to be a better person.
I just do it.
For I find intimidation in revealing an attempt.
As if vulnerablity is my own failure.

But this time around,
I don’t  really care.

Which is kind of bad.
I don’t really think my heart is in it.
It musn’t be.
But anyhow,
a’guzzlin I shall go.