Technical

I
will always remember you.

When you entered my life,
I would never not know you existed.
And now more then ever,
I don’t ever want to know what that feels like.

And I think about you
more often then what I think you think I do.

You’re a precious soul.
And I feel proud of myself
that I had someone like you in my life.

You are the coral people dive for.
You are the gold people mine for.

You are
one of my lifes highlights.
And my feeling is,
that,
you will always be.
I carry you in my heart wherever I go.
Sorry if you get voodoo spins or bad visuals.
You’re the light
to my demise.
And I don’t know if
you’ll ever know that.

Please Don’t be Partial

If you are in my life,  I am tired of you being in it partial
I was in that way with you, for a while
and it was never what I wanted.
I didn’t know how to get out.

Ever since I started learning about knowing how,
I’ve reached the surface a few dozen times
not struggling to stay a float
but
not being strong enough to fight through the undertows-
my habitual current.

I make progress
and want you in fully
to support
and help me when I fall down

Maybe it’s because you are still learning about knowing how to be here at all.

Because who the fook knows how you’re still here;
but if you’re gonna be here
please don’t be partial.

 

 

Dizzy but Not Waiting

You stood there in my life and I wondered what you were doing besides making my heart and head go merry go round crazy.

‘You were figuring it out,’ I had supposed, and I gave you time to do so.

All the while collecting dizzy.

I took my energy and I pummeled it into exercise- I didn’t want to wait around idle. It felt good and eventually it felt less like I was waiting about and more like I was living my life. 

 

A Gift And You

I haven’t posted in this catagory in a long time because I have been afraid.
If I wrote something about you, it would alter the good track it has been on.
I think I was doing well to have you in a peaceful part of my mind, a stability that was working.
It still is.

I handed you over a thousand words of mine that I have written over the past four months.
Last night when I saw you, I had confidence brimming my heart and I knew I was doing the right thing.

I am very vulnerable with all these words you have in your hand, but it will make the second part of my gift, make sense.

And I have to give you the second part of this gift.

Because it is all I have to give to you.