Your slumbered breath drives right into mine,
I can feel them touch, clasp strands and then float
into open armed airwaves.
If you are in my life, I am tired of you being in it partial
I was in that way with you, for a while
and it was never what I wanted.
I didn’t know how to get out.
Ever since I started learning about knowing how,
I’ve reached the surface a few dozen times
not struggling to stay a float
not being strong enough to fight through the undertows-
my habitual current.
I make progress
and want you in fully
and help me when I fall down
Maybe it’s because you are still learning about knowing how to be here at all.
Because who the fook knows how you’re still here;
but if you’re gonna be here
please don’t be partial.
You stood there in my life and I wondered what you were doing besides making my heart and head go merry go round crazy.
‘You were figuring it out,’ I had supposed, and I gave you time to do so.
All the while collecting dizzy.
I took my energy and I pummeled it into exercise- I didn’t want to wait around idle. It felt good and eventually it felt less like I was waiting about and more like I was living my life.
I haven’t posted in this catagory in a long time because I have been afraid.
If I wrote something about you, it would alter the good track it has been on.
I think I was doing well to have you in a peaceful part of my mind, a stability that was working.
It still is.
I handed you over a thousand words of mine that I have written over the past four months.
Last night when I saw you, I had confidence brimming my heart and I knew I was doing the right thing.
I am very vulnerable with all these words you have in your hand, but it will make the second part of my gift, make sense.
And I have to give you the second part of this gift.
Because it is all I have to give to you.
I’m writing less and thinking less, but not wanting less of you.
I’m doing more and being more, but wanting more to be with you.
I enjoy life and like life, because I’ve convinced myself I need to
but really I’ve convinced me that convincing you,
is really what I need to do.
You are weak, you are strong, you are every lyric to every song.
You bend my blood right to the core and plant my feet on every floor.
So I am everywhere because of you and I don’t know what you do
but I love and I hate it and for the life of me I can’t escape it.