A Point in Marriage

There is a point in marriage I think.
Well, there are a lot of points. But this one I’m talking about, it involves the decision of commitment. You take the vow on the day, for certain.
But it comes back numerous times throughout the marriage and you must make that conscious decision of ‘yes, i’m sticking with this’.
Maybe it doesn’t happen with everyone. Maybe some don’t really acknowledge the choice; that there isn’t one because of that first vow. But to me, a sign of love is making the choice continously. Because love is work. Love takes so much effort and it has more substance when it is something you choose to be in, rather than in because of a vow you made 6 years ago.

It can be a good thing to be aware that you can get out. And that you won’t, because of love.
Of course, in instances of abuse and the like- I would argue changes need to be made.
And if not, the commitment should end.

When we realise the power we have, the decisions we make are more valuable.
When we realise we are staying together, whether it is a question or not- we can be proud of that decision.
Let us feel bits of happiness for making a promise to be with someone for the rest of our life-and
keeping it.
The divorce rates are scary high and we know that marriage is work. It will almost be the hardest thing we do.
So let’s give ourselves some credit and acknowledge the fact that love has brought us here and it is love that will carry us through.

New Baby and the Caretaker

I had a baby three months ago and since I live abroad, we took a trip back to my homeland for the holidays.

My sister,parents and my best friend had already met the lil gaffer so it was my other two brothers and the rest of friends and family that were introduced to him.
It’s my first child, the first grand baby and I’m certain my brothers had not been around a baby that size in ever.

I came to a few conclusions that trip.
Information to use if i ever have grand babies.. or even if im going to babysit someone else’s child. .

Basically.
Watch the mother.
I have only been with my baby every day for the past three months, and sure, sometimes it still takes awhile for me to figure out why he’s upset but generally I know what’s going on with him.

So as a grandmother, watching how your child is with theirs, is quite a clear indication of how you should be with baby.

If Mom holds the baby upright and walks around, and baby is quiet, so should you do the same.
If baby is content without being spoken to, maybe a bunch of babble isn’t a good idea.
I understand that by being the mother, baby has a certain attachment to her and if it works for mom it doesn’t necessarily mean it will work for grandma. But it still doesn’t mean you do opposite, you do completely different from her.

It just confused me is all. Watching my mother try things that I knew zeek was not going to like. If she just had watched me with him for a few days, she would know he likes to be carried a certain way and she would notice that I talk to him most in the morning and not so much later on, when I know he’s getting tired.

Saying all this, I also realize that Grandmom has raised four of her own and what worked for us, is probably what she’s trying out on Zeek. It makes sense but we all know each baby is different.

So if ever you find yourself in a situation with the title ‘ newest grandmother or father, cousin or aunt ‘ or just someone whose friend had a baby… Watch how your daughter, sister or friend is with their infant. What do they do to try and calm them?
How do they hold baby? What mood is baby in when mom is doing that?