Nana and Change

” No Mom, I don’t want to spend 60 bucks on a pair of boots Zeek will only wear for four months.”
So this is something new that’s popped up.
I feel obligated to buy nicer and better quality clothes for my son because my Mother and sister do. This will be something I quickly get over but it’s something that has escalated in one shopping trip.
I will tell them, ” Buy him what you want, but know that I do not care if he has the same clothes for a year-as long as they fit him’. I do wonder if it will be something I regret. Wishing I had of dressed him better or more stylish in his younger years. I know it certainly isn’t for him, but my own personal feels.

There are so many changes I’m going through as a Mom. And every single one of them is in my head.

Losing Parts of You

When you live away long enough from what you grew up around, you start to lose pieces of you.
You don’t have the same interactions that you’ve known all your life and the friends that helped you to figure yourself out, aren’t there.
Sometimes you lose sight of this altogether and it really only hits you once you’re back in your own country for a few weeks.
Some parts of me I actually forgot were there. Until I used them.
And we all know that the ‘use it or lose it’ line is a real thing and that if I don’t use these fun, happy parts of me, I will forget they existed.
But I will feel a void. And as the years go on I will not know what it is that is supposed to be there.
And that has scared me to glossy eyes.
That has made me want to hold on dearer than ever, to the culture I am most comfortable with. The culture I will always prefer over the others.
Because it is the one I know myself best in.
The one I am most happiest in.