A Better Conclusion. For Life.

Sure, his family may think I had a guy over and had sex with him. Sure, his family may think I invited that guy to their sons’ hockey game.
Sure they may think I am a cheater, a lier, and a downright terrible person.

The idea of that family, whom I grew so close with and loved being around, disliking me and thinking things about me that are not true, is a really crappy feeling.
It turned me sick quite often last month.

But here is my healthy conclusion: 

They are seven people. And yes, they have friends/boyfriends/girlfriends/wives that will assume they know the story which adds more people to the list. Let’s say 14 altogether.

They are 14 individuals.

Out of the however many billion on this planet.

I can move forward and represent myself better and the best.
I can meet one hundred new, loving, friendly people who will get to see the best version of me I have.
I will forever be sad when I think about that family hating me, but one has to move on.I am not used to being disliked but my choices from the far past have made the assumptions alive.

So I must live with that. And be a better person who makes better choices to prevent the next 14 people, from thinking I’ve done nothing better, than cheat on their son. 

That’s my brilliant conclusion this week and it feathers my spirit to flight.

Day four of no drink. 😉

 

 

Knowing Unfaithfulness

You’re always going to care when you find out your spouse has cheated on you. Even if you know you are ending. Even if you understand why they did it.
I put an amount of blame on me because I wasn’t there for him.The gap between us widenened as he went out in search of people that complimented him.
Noone likes to stay at home with an unhappy person all the time; they’ll look for happy people elsewhere.

And along the way, chances are you’ll meet someone you’re attracted to. And when the relationship you’re in, isn’t doing so great, you can subconsciously justify the flirts, the attention, the growing attatchment.

Unless you stop contact with that person, it is likely to escalate.
And so it has.
And there must be a reason why I’m okay with it…