I knew he liked me. I knew his eyes were on me as I sat, conversing with another. I knew the lines out of my mouth sputtered up his brain wave lengths. I could tell by the surprise gleam that coated his eyes the instant my line was out. I knew in his reactions, he was intrigued.
I kept my distance.
But it was a feeling I recognized. This is what I used to catapult for. I could live off of this feeling. I do not think I am complex. But I am creative.
At least in one category or another.
As I have got older, I meet more people that have more experience. Like me.Less surprises them. As children we go so much with the flow because we do not know what to believe, what to understand or trust and growing makes us more aware. We are not surprised at much. Then we reach that bubble of our personality that determines what we are surprised at. And it diminishes over time because we become accustomed to it.
I don’t live for that intrigue anymore. For those reactions.
I think that’s part of the reason why I’m shuffling around. I think I thought that was my purpose. At least something that I knew made me happy. But in the end it isn’t sustainable happiness. I can’t interest everybody at the rate I would like while dating someone. I think that was a difficult pill to swallow.
But it is good, very good, to have come to that conclusion.
I’ve seen this happen dozens of times.
It happens with my own child.
Child gets given a new toy. Adult helps get it out of the box. Adult starts puttings pieces together to make what it’s supposed to be.
Child is taken to a new place. The zoo let’s say. ” Let’s go this way to see the zebras!”.
By setting things up for our children, by pushing them to play with a toy the way that it is supposed to be played with, we are taking away their creativity. A moment where there personality can show, where the joy of seeing them make up what they want, exists.
Perhaps the child is interested in the fence. Who cares if you came to the zoo to see some sheep. The child has a desire to bend around wooden posts and it makes him happy.
There are many moments we lose out on simply because we unknownely push our knowledge onto our kids.
Let’s refrain from moulding their minds. Lets let them decide that the cracker wrapper is a blanket for their lego block, that wheels are pillows and hair elastics on the ground are the eyes of what’s underneath.
Stop directing and start seeing blooms of incredible creativity come into play.