Bringing Colour and Milk

After being on the Ipad or my computer for awhile life feels vivid when it is the iPhone I use instead.
It feels like the world is smaller this way. That everything is more tangible.

It’s the end of the week.

Start of the week.

They do keep going dont they.
Sometimes, not often, I do feel that I’m in a barrel and I’m rolling and rolling and seeing the same blade of grass or the same beetle with grit between its teeth and that the clouds are just the same.

I love clouds. I want to be a carebear just to sit in them.

Mise well paint rainbows too.
Chalk on sidewalks. I like that.
I sometimes, not often, imagine the chalk dust to be that of the fairy world. And if sprinkled just so, will bring weeds their coloured strength and myself some chocolate milk.

A Change In Me

I’ve never liked doing chores. I suppose that’s the way it is with a lot of people. Even in my late teens and early twenties…Mom did the work. I was spoiled and it is probably why I don’t know how to iron shirts properly or clean toilets well. It is probably why flowers I recieve, die in a few days and my cooking skills are at zero.

Having a child kind of changes all that. I don’t feel that it HAS to change. I’ve heard some pretty hairy stories of woman having babies but who do not keep the house clean or safe.
Some mothers like to keep there place cleaner than others. Thats understandable.

But I’m talking about me here.

It wasn’t in my self to stand for 45 minutes finishing up dishes after dinner or vacumning at least once every week or doing laundry every other day. I don’t know where the guster comes from. When all I really want to do is sit in front of this computer box and tap away.
I know I’m pretty selfish. And so thats why this surprises me.

I’m handling this motherhood thing better than I thot i would. And i don’t even know for sure how i thought i would. I just feel different and better and greater of a person.

I guess I’ve embraced it.
I’ve discovered that I like clean things-specially when they are my own. My house, my clothes, my yard.

I didn’t know a baby would do this.
Did you?