Inside A Brain

I’m trying to convince people I’m a bad person, when I’m not telling them directly why I think so.
I suppose it is getting my toenails in the door of truth. And that I’m doing it the slow cowardly way.
I feel once I tell one person, it will be easier to tell others. Even though everyone is different,reactions will totally determine whether or not I tell many.

The past week I feel I have went out everyday and saw at least one friend. I’ve drank three nights in a row like I’m 19 all over again.
It is liberating. Tiring, but emotionally boosting.
Like I’m getting somewhere with myself, getting it out of my system.

I’m five pounds heavier than I want to be and people are physically attracted to me.
I have a good Mommy body. And I know I do. But I don’t use being a Mommy as an excuse at all. Nor will I ever.
I will use my kid as a weight if I have to. I will run laps around the yard with him.

Bubble moving thoughts. They are wonderful these days.