Miss and Individuality

I’ve been in Canada a year and a half now. After living in Thailand for five years.
I can tell you that I do not miss the place too much. I have pangs of it every now and then and a slew of specific moments that snag in my brain system. I don’t know what draws them out- usually it’s nothing relating to what my present moment is.
I don’t get stuck on them though-I let them pass for what they are and continue on.

As soon as those deep misses hit,immediatly following I feel either one of two things.

One: You want to be at the place you are not in; but  you have set a perfect example of the grass not being greener on the other side.

I want to go back sometimes, but if I think practically, the idea is absurd. I got into such a rut there ( my relationship at the time certainly aided it) that I began to detest my surroundings. Wanting nothing more, than my homeland.

Two: I am fortunate to be able to feel something like this. For a place like this, for a time in my life like this.

There are millions who will never know what living outside of learning what hackysack or hopscotch or caramilk chocolate bars are. Millions who will never spend five years of their life in a country with a language different then their own. People who will not know what it’s like to go without having a bath for years and only showers. Who will not know what it’s like to miss a bag of ketchup chips or honey nut cheerios.

And that’s okay.

I admit to never walking the Great Wall of China or trying to learn how to surf.
I’ve never even eaten an olive and liked it.

And this is what creates individuality.

 

 

 

Trying to Travel the Less Travelled

Hey Travellers,

You mostly all want to do the ‘non touristy’ stuff. To live like they do.
To experience life as they would. To not buy a Tourist Magazine and book tours or go to the top rated temple in the world or scuba dive like they can not afford or buy Starbucks like the people behind the counters’ wages couldn’t even buy in one hour.

I lived in Thailand for 5 years. I lived in a tourist city. ( That was where my Dad was located for work.)

I met many many travellers.
And believe it or not, this was a common theme as well.
” We just wanna stay on this unbeaten path and yuh know, scope out the way they live’.

Fair enough.
I get your curiousity.
And by no means am I faulting it.

But I kind of am.

Because you see,
your glimpses of ‘the way they live’
are like 12 snowflakes in a full sized igloo.

I realize that I’m a little tainted and under valued.
I just want to make the point that you aren’t the only ones doing it.
Don’t think you’re the hippest coolest travellors around ( I’ve met a lot that think they’re doing a route that no one else has’ ) when hundreds of you are doing the same thing.
Truth is,
all you off beaten travellers,

are slowly but surely,
making that off beaten path
a beaten down trail of direction to what will eventually be a page in the next
‘Places to Go when in India’.

Making Good from ‘ Bad ‘

I write differently to different people because everyone is different and people need to hear things differently or read them written that way instead of the other way and each way makes you pick up snatches that aren’t the same.
People make me figure stuff out about myself.
I only have my own self reflection here in Thailand so going to Canada and being exposed to mirrors that talk back is incredible. It makes me feel more like a person instead of a shell and it is scary to think that I may think of myself as a shell in Thailand and only that. But there is so much to feel in Canada. So much to give and so much to take and I have to stay sensible and realize that it is only because my time has been limited each and everytime I have went back,for the past four years. It affects these things so much so, that breaking down isn’t so much of a surprise. Because these are the life sized things. For me. These are the things that pinch my heart and stagger my thoughts and wind my ideas so that they go walking across the carpets on missions to unknown destinations.
That is me dealing.
There are always many tears when I say goodbye in Canada and I am always trying my best not to drown in them. Being conscious of it. It is good to feel that way even though it is hurting.
If I felt none of this, could I really sense the better in the good? If I had nothing to compare. Nothing extreme to relate it to, then the good wouldn’t be so good and the value would be non-existent.