How easy it is to talk about what is needed in a relationship.
How easy it is to think about all the ways you will be in one. How great and connective and communicative you will be.
You know how good you would be.
Understanding, slow to respond, listen attentively. So many qualities you have for a relationship!
And then you get in one.
And you are not at all what you want to be.
You recognize the selfish parts of you. You’re far too distant and lacking.
How is this so?
How difficult it is to be consistent with a behaviour that is not yet a habit.
How difficult to make it natural, to push yourself to be comfortable with discomfort.
How uneasy to have those conversations that are needed.
How easy to think, how difficult to act.