last one I’d be pregnant.
Everything in those 24 hours was done or said or looked at with the heavy frost of knowledge that I would be a mother the next day. I wasn’t in any pain but I knew The doctor was right and I shouldn’t wait too long. I didn’t want the baby gettig bigger anyway. It was the evening . I called the doctor up with puffs of cloudy questions, worried that perhaps baby was getting stressed in there . She advised against waiting and said to come in the following day- at least to check how far I’d dilated. With that set in stone, I began to get frantic.All the things I had to do before baby came. The lid on the mcflurry mix flung off and pieces went everywhere. I was standing at the bottom of a flight of stairs outside, attempting to take the last of the belly photos when i broke down. The world felt heavy to my eyes. I felt like a collapsable tent myself. This was me shutting down. But back home, for a good hour I went around the
house wide eyed and in a frenzy that noone could stop.
I was filling up soap containers, organizing my closet,
sweeping the floors and raking the lawn. Things had to feel done. I laid in bed that night thinking it’d be the last full night of sleep for awhile. How right I was. I held my breath as I entered Sleepville that night and in the morning, I, along with all those pieces, were floating. Were actually floating.