You’re the type to leave me speechless while I’m bursting at the seams to speak
The one that’s got me wrapped around my own beating heart.
I’ll gently breath into your soul, while you aggressively reach for mine
And we’ll dance this song to the end so that the start is what we’ll find.
I think it interesting how woman will go and pay to get there breasts enlarged and wear tight, low cut and revealing tops or dresses.
I guess it’s almost like buying a sports car.
But flaunting body, not money.
I suppose because I’m more attracted to someone who spends time and pays attention – not money- on themselves, that the instant gratification implants offer isn’t as soothing an idea to me.
And yeah, you may have worked for that money used to change your body, and you may have felt completely useless and without confidence in your old shape.
But hey, I think it might be saying something when every outfit and event has you popping your boobs out like they were that way all along.
At that rate, I just think ones’ insecurities should be put under evaluation, not the knife.
There’s still an air of change that the strands of my hair can feel. This is one of those braver, launch out to the world posts- where as two nights ago I was on my bedroom floor, my eyes leaking a fresh batch.
It is not a rolling lawn, hilly field scene. It is cliffs, jutted out rocks, grass and sand.
I walk the grasses of eager and strength and without even having time to lose my footing, I’m falling down a hole that has sandpaper walls.
I’m getting tired of these frantic and draining surprises.
It’s not like I’m getting better at them.
I’ll have to make the necessary adjustments, realign my path and try something different. I cannot continue doing the same things and expect a different outcome.
Hence, the change my hair strands can feel.
If we are conscious of feelings, we are better able to accept and deal with them. We must accept that we are going to disappoint ourselves a hundred and six times more, accept the love we feel. All feelings, are teachers that you and I can continually learn from. No matter how many times we feel angry when child draws on the legs of the table or when an appliance breaks for the 4th time. When we feel frustrated or hopeless, we are given an opportunity.
An opportunity to deal better than the last time, to make the outcome more positive.
And how we deal with what we feel, whether it’s after we’ve felt it or as we are,
is how our Life is represented.
The better we get at guiding our dealings into a positive stream, the more happier we are with the Life we are CHOOSING to live.
I laid on the grass of the park late last night and I looked up through the branches of a wide tree and thought, ‘ This will be the last time I am in this country in August.’
I laid so still in that thought and it rambled into the stars I could not see.
The stars I knew I would, this time next year.
I know I will get through this.
It’s a low I suppose I had to get to, in order for me to really change.
There is a lot of fear but a question of wondering I have, is this really an adequate low?
Am I going to fight against it? Am I going to be too strong? Where the bottom is bottomless and my emotions must be strained more and upheaved more. Where my life has to completely flip upside down, parts where my entire vision gets distorted and not just foggy when I wake in the middle of the night because I cried myself to sleep the night before. It’s perception. If I thought this was flipped up already, then the process to change would have started. Has it already and I don’t know it? Wouldn’t I know it?
How messed up does it have to become, for me to believe it is what I need to change who I am?