I spend 4 hours straight
curving through Youtube videos
because I do not want to press stop
too afraid to run around my own mind track
in bed
in silence
in darkness.
I think so much these days
it hurts the head of my house
I walk, like most of you do
into Movies, Romances and Make Upped people world,
Life that doesn’t really exist like that
only mere ideas formed to make
what we see on screen.
We escape there, letting our emotions attatch to those
characters,
and we let go of our own reality
if only for a little while.
I am afraid of my own thoughts
and days like these
it turns me belly up.