Thoughts on Leaving

I probably have at least another year in this country. So I’m attempting to get all the Thai food in that I can. I have already half stepped out and am focusing on life things in my home here,but the food aspect is something I care to indulge in.

I think of the changes I will undergo and I know I can not prepare for it all.

There are things I recognise. Like the buildings plastered with the advertising signs, how relaxed my eyes will be once on Canadian soil. I feel that difference every visit I take back.

I don’t think I will do another visit. It took too much out of me the last time. And since moving back is close and extra money will be good to have, I think the idea isn’t such a bad one to stay.

I am only keeping in contact with one person on a regular basis. And it is someone I have never met in person. I guess it makes more sense to me now why I am not putting my time towards friends that wait for me to email them and question why they haven’t heard from me. I tell them that they to,have fingers and brain and computer, to type to me. I have lost the desire to keep in touch with many because of this.

My focus should be more here and my involvement should grow here too.

When I think of leaving within twelve months, it doesn’t scare me or make me refrain from attaching myself to a club or people I meet at a play place. I have so much to look forward too. My own country is enough to satisfy and cover over every person I will meet and never see again here.

I am okay with it.