Living a Livable Life

How do we do it?

We worry and stress less.
We recognize that struggles make us stronger
and we believe in that.

Over and over again.

We understand we are changing beings,
and we strive to be better and better
all the while
cultivating our productivity in life by
loving who we are.

We stop talking badly about others.
We start our responses on positive notes.
we watch our language, our tone,
and make listening, and I mean REALLY listening,
not eyes on phone screen listening
the only way we listen.

We respect others’ space,time, circumstances, opinions
We respect that they are here
like us
but not like us at all.

We communnicate better
until we are communicating our best.

We do everything better
until we are doing it the best

and we understand we fail
and that trying is living
and we allow ourselves to fall
and we always get back up.

We always get back up.

We stop trying to rule the world,
we want less
and want to be more.

To always strive to be more
until we are the most
then we be more of most.

 

That’s how we make living
livable.

 

bugs-bunny_positiveMed

I Struggle with Myself

I’m a bit lost these days. What does one do? I guess I never thought I would be in this situation because I’ve been pretty darn great at keeping myself happy. But it is a new low.
When you know you can be better in your relationship, when you know the things you need to do, but you have no will to do them? When you know you are capable of being happier and you are focused on what you think you need but deep down you know that you need to fix what you are in.
You need to fix what you are in because right now, it is fixable.
But it is the most scariest thing I have ever been a part of because it deals with my child and my marriage and I now, after only so long, I realise I am not fit to be commitable. I can’t do it. I run. I have run all my life out of relationships.From people that have wanted to marry me. From people that would have done so much to keep me.
Little things irritate me and I have been able to run because of all the others out there.
Even now, they are there. But it has taken this long for these things to add up, about him. About the guy I married. It has taken this long, four years, for even the tiniest bit of running thought, to enter. And I wonder, why the hell now.
I am so far removed from this situation. I’m already out and I don’t want to be in. But I feel pressed to be and we started documents today to move to Canada and I know I am supposed to talk to him and say everything and spill it all, but I am Running Women, I have been doing it all my life and this is where it gets me. To here. To a dead end. Because I know I will not be happy. I am doing this to him and to myself. To our son.
And I feel so messed up. There is noone I have. No best friends. Noone to talk to.
I’ve got myself here,
How do I get myself out ?