It’s a….. First!

I have never actually felt that with anyone else before.
Like he could see inside my soul.

I’ve had good guy friends. Ones that knew me very well. Spending so much time with me and seeing me in all sorts of settings. Drunk, posh, social outings, new experiences, new people. There was a group of us, that got really close.

I never dated them. Sure we had connections and even intimate moments. ( I used to be such a flirtatious hugger ) But we never crossed the lines to being in a relationship. I didn’t think of them as a guy I would date. Because they were my best friends. And I never dated a best friend before. There WAS such a thing as a friend zone for me. Even though I denied it for years.

Me and my recent ex, we’d known of one another for 12 years and dated after a few months of one on one hang outs and it wasn’t until 6 or so months in that I realized he was my best friend. He knew SO MUCH bad about me. He knew me and still wanted to love on me. Still wanted to kiss me.

He still is my best friend. He’s the first boyfriend I ever dated that turned into my best friend. I want to marry my best friend.
And to me, he’s the one.

He’s the one I want to spend my life with.
Not just because he loves me regardless of how much I hurt him,

but because for the first time in my life, I see all of someones faults and I look ahead 10 years ( because I know what it’s like to be married ) and even though I can see those faults in 10 years, I have the love that withstands them.
I have the power, the tools, the mindset to love through them. To love unconditionally.

Holy Crapola!


Take Alittle of This in your Life

Some of us like routine.
Some of us stick to the things that we know and don’t venture on the unknown.

But how’d ya figure out you liked steak?
How’d you know you liked wearing silk over cotton?

And you know you like coffee. You actually have one every morning?

Here’s why you know:
At some point in your life you ventured out for a moment and whether conscious thought or not – you thought, ‘ Hey,I’m going to try this. I’ll have this. I haven’t tried it before’.

And now it’s the only perfume you wear. Now it’s the only toilet paper you use.
You couldn’t go about your routine without your Apple product! No!

Don’t get too stuck in your ways. You brave a little of the unknown in life -and yes-
it could be a sad,unwanted outcome,
but it could also end up being the girl you happily spend your life with.


Your Chances.



Tomorrow my three year old son goes on a train for the first time in his life.

Here is what I wrote on First times 4 years ago:

It’s long, but scroll to the end to get the point.

First Times