Motivational Mistakes

Making mistakes sucks. No one wants to get better at that.
It’s a consistent occurrence in our lives,it just doesn’t have to be a regular one.

It feels like starting all over again.
Another push from the ground. And I think that’s what life kind of is. Constantly doing that. To push push push. Keep on going even though you fail at some things.
Even though you make poor decisions and disappoint. Even though your feelings tell you you’re sad or angry.

You push past your past and make that a way of life.
Living and holding onto choices that were already made, whether made recently or long ago is a bad decision in itself.
Push past the bad that already happened, and make something good.

 
You are more than capable.

 

 

Here’s why Losing is Okay

If I lost my temper, I wouldn’t be so sad. I wouldn’t even go look for it again.
I’d say, ‘Hey, Good riddance and good day! ‘

If I lost my momentum, I wouldn’t sit down and crouch my feet under my bum looking skyward as if the sight of the blowing clouds would help me move forward. I’d take off my snowboard,I’d put the weights down, and I’d walk to the next hill, I’d step on the next machine. And push my weight forward. I’d move.

If I lost a race, I would try harder the next time around. I wouldn’t get to the finish line and keep running, trying to find the race I just ran.

If I lost my mind,
I wouldn’t speed up on drugs trying to lose it more. I’d say, ‘ Let your mind get lost every once and awhile, and don’t in the least, try and find it’.
Because losing is sometimes the backwards way of winning.

Losing makes us stronger and try harder.
Losing may make us confused and may make us want to put on our headlights and search for the lost.

But losing is just another part of life.

Even if it is losing life.

If I lost my self in oblivion, I wouldn’t try and climb out.
I’d let myself float in that unknown.

If I lost my breath at an event, at a speech, at a friends words,
I woudn’t even try and find it.
I’d let it be lost in the air.
It’s like losing in it’s greatest form.
You FEEL.

You feel that feeling. And you know it’s big.

If I lost my voice, I’d let it come back to me.

If I lost my writings, I’d just write more.

If i lost my hope, I’d find another way to hope.

If I lost you, I wouldn’t try and find another you.
Losing you is like learning love.

And love is only lost,
when it is supposed to be lost.

 

 

 

It’s smart like that.

Mind Tumble

Bending moments into garbage bags of warped crinkles. The after of the beginning is the middle of the time where ants run wild in their teeth crunching abilities. Medium is always the rare in a time of easy softness. The lights of cakes whip up their soul in a few minutes and leave a trailing winding upward path of smoke. And we’re supposed to follow it. But our wishes never do. Off the shore the trees lean their way to freedom pieces where chocolate is the least of worries and chips of plastic are the overbearing prize of the individuals that last till the last wind roars.
You’re the bending of the brittle, with the warp and the crinkle in a time of den. When you’re slipping stares and rugged reasons into a solid slot of truth. The type of style air is, is the only thing you don’t know. And it doesn’t matter what you remember, just that you’re the ability of movement. Backwards, forwards, you’re the run of the century. Little crystals of warmth and strength and to hold on to any dab of confidence is what you’ll do to be a moment of a warped crinkled garbage bag.

Trying to stop the Coast

I don’t recall experiencing such highs and such lows, one after the other, in all my life.

Soaring for days, for weeks even, and then plummeting in an instant. Finding self in the dark caves of insecurity with self abosrbed and self hating rocks in all the tunnels.

How the hell did I get here?

I’m stretching out my arms, with my fingertips trembling for any sort of sense.

But the thing is, it all does. It makes sense why I’m here, how I’m here and why I feel the way I do. Well, that part gets me a bit confused. I’m not really sure why I reach very low points. Other then the reason I’m going through  a divorce and I’m terrified about what happens to my child in the future. Sort of a lack of control. Future does have you behind the controls to some extent and even though I still do-I can afterall, control my behaviour, my actions and try and steer my feelings accordenly-  it feels that all of a sudden life has dropped the drive to go forward and I’m coasting towards a giant brick wall.

My desire to see friends wanes. I know they’ll make me happy but when I reach low, it’s hard to even want to be happy. Self Pity. Oh what a deadly thing.