In order to live life good, goes it have to be difficult? When you are coming from years of a bad habit, to work against it on a constant basis, that’s not easy. And ongoing after ongoing, it just feels like life is just this. Striving to rid yourself of something you accepted. Oh but all the things to know beyond this place. All the things to learn about myself beyond where I am now. Is that the dig dug down fuel? Is that what I believe in?
I buy mushrooms and onions just to saute them and eat them for dinner. And the dish is to divine for. For dessert, my heart crunches into Mr.Big.Sometimes the idea of thinking about a treat like that, gives me a surge of love for the whole word. Chocolate can do that to yuh, I suppose. Or maybe it’s just the healthy relationship with the empty calories.
We do a lot of suggestive asking.
” Doesn’t the grass look a little long?”
” These cups are really old aren’t they”
” Now, how long have we had these chairs dear? It’s been ages since we’ve got new ones.”
It’s a really bad habit.
It’s okay to define what you want by being direct.
It’ll save a lot of frustration and confusion- when your partner,sister,parent or friend, understand exactly what you want from them.
Clear cut questions may seem unappealing and too ugly to apply. But you start asking straight, and then continue asking straight, and you eventually get better at your wording, your tone, and your expressions. Until they come out nice, and habitual and easy. As if there was never a need for them to be curvified in the first place.
Get going. Go in the direction of being direct, until you ARE direct
Sitting on the floor of the dining room. Facing the back yard. Through the glass doors I see the birds at the feeder and the sun rising, peeking here and there through the brown limbs of forestry. The grass is green, the house is quiet.
But my ears are not. They swallow up soft joyful music. I shall be motivated and inspired today. I shall take on the day with great to be alive feelings. Because I have that choice.
deep down I know my happiness is coming from the fact that ex and I are still in the cuddle bug rug of datability. And I am holding onto that for all I am worth.
Since I am aware of this I am trying to sway my happiness from just that, to the will to live for simply, the happiness that I can create because of ME. I am a wonderful person.
And I have the ability myself, to sustain that joyfulness through brain choices. Habits form that way. And habiting a life of inner peace and joy has got to be more fufilling than reliance on others.
Which, has always been my way.
We’ve got to be fully happy with self, before we are able to give our complete to someone else.