The sun has been feeling me wonders as of late. Spring tends to be the wet and the grey so glimpses of sun I stuff into my eye backpacks and soak into my skin. I teeter on my window ledge to watch the sun rise and I sit on my back balcony when it sinks. Catch the every drop that I can. Mood food.
Warm swirling energetic chaos simmering inside- like a turtle about to start a race.
You know you’re about to do great things.
The mind is so powerful. Can make or break your moment, your hour, your day.
It’s difficult for those that struggle with taking control. To readjust your head, be authoritative and administer the care and direction.
It is very worth it. And will continue to need tuning, and realignment. Sometimes you will react poorly to a comment and forget that you have the ability to regulate.
And sometimes these nice sugar dust brain waves, pair perfectly with that simmering chaos and you will know how beautiful it all is.
What a wild we are.
my heart parts all wisdom whacked.
how in this world
are we supposed to be apart?
how in any other
are we not to survive ?
Candy coated sugar kings,
we tell ourselves our own jokes
by looking in the mirror.
Would I rather be tin man
instead of feeling these highs and lows?
Maybe I just sit on my gold chair
alittle longer each time,
waiting out the anticipation
of falling into mud again.
Is happiness more for the good people?
When I have a heavy heart
I don’t feel fat or off the scale.
I feel my blood veins disjointed
And dragon sadness of a tail.
A heart with weight,
can also mean pure and full
Like explosion works of fire,
that create the half that makes the whole.
And if my heart is solid,
like that soulfire around your way,
I know we will be complete
before we start our stay.
You’ll wear yourself out being someone you’re not for somebody else. You will collapse. You will not last with anyone if you are not downright upright you.
Fear gets in the way and in the end, fear of stepping forward like you are, will have you stepping out.
You have to be yourself if you want a relationship to last. That’s why none of mine have. Well, the last two anyways.
The first few, I was too unknowingly smart to be someone else.
I’d break open each pistachio in the whole bag for you.
I’d crack open your 11 cans of beer, I’d,
I’d travel 73 blocks to grab you your favourite Thursday night chew.
I’d rub your back and your feet any night of the week.
You see, I would care for you in such a way, that I would believe it.
I picture sunlight that hasn’t hit horizon yet to be able to call it setting but in the sky, bright and small, not big and hot, but glowing and warm and nice.
the sky not black. not bright blue sky. not cheesy sunset orange either. but this faded, darker yellow. warmth… with depth.
And i picture you half-silhouetted, half blurry, half in frame of the polaroid being taken, half out, but smiling huuuuuuge.
You may be something different to me then what you really are. But you’re still real. To me.
With me in it, being stable.
No straw in it,
Tastes like melted syrup,
feels like warmth in a sheeps’ fluff.
Is the place I am to be.
If you can hate someone, you have the ability to love them.
If you love someone, they have the ability to break your heart.
If your heart is broken,you and Time are able to repair it.
If you are complete, you can give all you’ve got.
And when you can give all that you’ve got, and it is all that you have,
you are giving yourself
a life of love.