When you entered my life, I would never not know you existed. And now more then ever, I don’t ever want to know what that feels like.
And I think about you more often then what I think you think I do.
You’re a precious soul. And I feel proud of myself that I had someone like you in my life.
You are the coral people dive for. You are the gold people mine for.
You are one of my lifes highlights. And my feeling is, that, you will always be. I carry you in my heart wherever I go. Sorry if you get voodoo spins or bad visuals. You’re the light to my demise. And I don’t know if you’ll ever know that.
You for the sake of you for the sake of you for the sake of you.
I can hear the waves crashing on my shoulders
You understand now why I hold her.
I can’t see it clearly but maybe you can
and maybe that’s why we’re together
( so we can be )
( together )
until the end.
The end is where?
but where it has to be
in the very birthplace and time
of it’s life.
And I know you can take this better then me
it’s not like you were born ready,
Because you are so, so, so
better then so.
Kinda like nothing I feel good at explaining.
I take it this is where it goes from here
just where it’s supposed to.
Give me that, I’ll take this
don’t erase the wish.
If you can hate someone, you have the ability to love them.
If you love someone, they have the ability to break your heart.
If your heart is broken,you and Time are able to repair it.
If you are complete, you can give all you’ve got.
And when you can give all that you’ve got, and it is all that you have,
I am shit at not doing what I need to do and great at doing what I want.
Last year I came to learn it,
this year I attempt doing it.
Situations where I need to make the choice that I need to.
I have to say that it hasn’t felt as freeing as I thought it would. Yes, there is some weight off my head and lightness in my heart, but there’s still this deep dissatisfaction.
That I let someone down. That I couldn’t be all that they envisioned me to be in their life.
I wonder if the more I choose to follow my heart, the less I’ll worry about keeping peace with people. I hope so because doing what I need to do shouldn’t be so difficult.
Sometimes I think about you humans while I’m out. I was in Aisle 7 the other day and had the urge to just get home and write about how often I hate that I hide when I see someone I know.
I feel the comfort in my soul to know you are here. That I can come home to you and it doesn’t matter if you haven’t read all my posts to know what you can about me, but just the fact it is out there for your eyes to find. It’s part of a success. The amount that is laid out here, it is fascinating for my heart to feel.
It makes bringing the dark and scary and wobbly personas of myself to the table (outside of WordPress), more of something I feel capable of doing.
Thanks Cyber Room. For helping to make the other rooms of my house be filled with more me.