I guess people will always surprise me.
I left four years ago ending something and it was horrific. Like the largest train crash pile up and it didn’t make the news.
Except it was in my brain headlines for months. Trailing to a write up over the years and I have travelled with it,lived with it and so when I’ve entered the scene and the places where it all took place with the person it did and realize that they left the mental state and are okay and not really where I thought they would be or where we were, it is baffling.
I was expecting them to have anger in a bottle ready to shake and spray at me.
So when I sat above the city on the edge of a hundred year old buildling and the person didn’t push me off-it was kinda a nice feeling.
I have become wrapped up so easily in the kindness and beauty and overal aura of this relationship I have with this person. The reasons flood in and the desire to spend a lot of hours together click into my heart zone.
I haven’t laughed like that for months and months. I haven’t felt so on top of the trees in a long while.
The way that people make you feel when you know they like you. When you know they want to be with you. Is dangerous. It is one of my biggest intensities. My bigget fault. I put myself into these positions a lot of the time and still continue to even when I am taken. Even when they know it.
And I will never drop what I have. Because it is too precious.
But I hold onto happy in other ways.
Someone who intrigues me and is one of the most interesting people that I have met. The mind of theirs is like a jungle that never ends. And it changes colour. And I will always care for this person in this way because they are like a super hero that is tangible, and that understands me and is in love with my goofiness and brings it out of me.
It is something I hate to let go because of how great it makes me feel.
Lines are drawn and set and that’s what makes this all okay .