Older Men

I wanted to get out of the house, so I went into town.
Drove slowly through the neighbourhood,  went to a park and son had some food at a restaurant.Walking out- I see coming in,  a father whose twin boys go to my sons school.

Four minutes later I am walking down the street holding a glass vase with a rose inside of it all wrapped up in paper and an unopened envelope addressed to me.

” Just because. because I’m going to miss seeing ya each week at school, ” he had said.

It does make me feel good about myself.
It takes me back to the memory of the older men that wanted to be with me while I was in Thailand.
The 52 year old Australian who bought me my first Iphone just because. Well, he wanted me to stick around of course..
he wanted me to come back and live with him. To be Mommy to his two boys who were had via surrogate. He was incredibly wealthy.
I am not bragging, I am stating facts.
I have been low the past few days and these facts lift my heart up a bit. In an odd and guilty way.

It makes me think of the 48 year old who comes reguarly into the store I work at and has told my co-worker he’d like to date me.

It makes me think that I’m worth something.
And it bothers me that I rarely see this for myself. I do not look for it out there, but I don’t see it unless it comes in this form.

How do I fix this.